I am about 5 months pregnant with my first baby. I've been raising my SO's two kids (SD 13 and SS 11) 100% of the time for the last year and a half. Their mother is a drunk and is currently jumping from job to job and rented room to rented room to avoid Child Support. They haven't seen her in about a year and most of their memories of her involve her being passed out on the floor, or throwing things at their father or peeing herself. My SO definitely let this go on way too long in front of the kids, and he's really guilty about it. We were not expecting to get pregnant, long story on that one, but here we are and as a family, we're all pretty excited.

I'm starting to wonder how this will effect my skids. We get along great, sometimes I'm more of a friend but for the most part I'm an authority figure and they like spending time with me. I worried that when the new baby comes, the kids might start to resent her. Their age difference kind of worries me since I grew up just a year apart from my siblings. But mostly I'm worried they will see the happy family they didn't have and see the baby growing up with a stable mom. I also worry they will see the difference in their dad and resent him for not being stronger when they were younger. He had a lot of enabling behaviors and was really passive and has really changed in that department since I've met him. He and his ex fought constantly over the years in front of the kids. I'm not a screamer and he's learned that we discuss issues privately and there is no need to yell about them.

I love my skids like my own. I've worked really hard to build our family the last year and earn their trust. I know that a new baby will take a lot of time and attention and worry that will be perceived as me loving my "real child." Or something like that. Thoughts?