What has to change?
If the children go from being with their dad maybe 3 or 4 nights a week minimum and pretty much every weekend to being with there full time does it change the home situation?
Is there a transition period? Acting out? Changes in rules and roles?
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They are good kids and they
They are good kids and they do tend to follow the rules here - I just wonder if there will be some attitude and stuff. They have taken everything in a scarily calm way but I don't think that will last.
I would say there is a period
I would say there is a period of adjustment. During the summer SS4 goes on a 50:50 schedule and when summer is over it takes about two weeks for him to get used to being back at our house primarily. His attitude and bad habits he gets into take time to wear off. If the kids were already spending majority of their time over there with their dad then they should already know and be used to the rules and schedules your house is ran on. If they are voluntarily staying more that means they are agreeing to follow the rules of the house more.
The kids want to be here but
The kids want to be here but it isn't something the have decided - the court has temporarily. I guess I am worried .... just for a change.
I expect the stuff with their mum will come out - I mean they must feel torn as they love their mum but she has done some bad stuff. They are seeing her still but supervised. She is making all sorts of promises but will have to just wait and see.
We have EOWE and every
We have EOWE and every wednesday during the school year and 50/50 during holidays. Our household is stricter than BMs. SD5 gets an evening of mild prompts, like most children shes somewhat lazier when tired (usually the first evening with us) but she knows whats what.
Her entire routine is different here (small example; absolutely no tv in the morning.) it doesnt take her long to adjust.
I think it does also depend on the age of the skid. When SD was younger there was a longer adjustment period.
I think it is stricter here
I think it is stricter here but also more consistent. So they won't get away with something one day and told off the next day.
I just want to be a bit prepared for what will happen. But long term nothing is really sorted and it seems to be a long process.
I don't have kids so they
I don't have kids so they will be the only kids here. They do have attitudes sometimes but I don't think any more than any other child. That might change though depending on what happens next and with court and stuff.
how old are they? and yes, of
how old are they?
and yes, of course there will be some adjustment issues, it seems theirs are just delayed...
we went from EOWE/1nt a wk to more than 50/50, to full time. the first transition was seamless as it went gradually. but when we got them full time, that was rough. oss had already been living w/ us full time for about 6m. he did NOT like the disruption. lurch was ok, he copped some attitude from time to time but overall he's the most easy-going kid anyway so it passed quickly. we STILL have issues w/ kaos tho' (almost three years later). his acting out gets worse after she has talked to him on the phone.
in the intrest of maintaining peace, dont start changing around rules and roles just yet. let them adjust, and if things needs to be tweaked later on, do so in the future and do it gradually.
10 and 14. Not sure it is
10 and 14. Not sure it is delayed as it has only been a couple of days!
I don't think there are any rules that we would need to change - I mean they are used to they way things are here as they were here a lot anyway. Just now it is court ordered.
They will be having
They will be having counselling. I think they still keep wishing their mum was different to how she is.
She got arrested and SO and I
She got arrested and SO and I were with the solicitor the next day. Temporary order at the moment but it is all being looked into. SO's aim is to have it made permanent. But we are waiting on stuff (like if she will be charged) so it is all up in the air at the moment.