Seriously?
So, on Valentines day my BF comes home and tells me that his ex-wife's family is coming to town to surprise her for her birthday and he offered to let them stay at our house! I have never met these people! He then goes on to ask if I am going to take the night off work so I can attend the party. I looked at him like he had 2 heads and said "are you freaking kidding me?". The sad part is he had no idea that this would be upsetting to me.
My BF and his Ex talk every day. They attend every child function together and usually sit together there as well. He gets upset that I don't want to go to these things even when I explain that I am not comfortable sitting next to his ex wife at all these events (several a week, that's another issue). We live in a small town where everyone knows us & frankly it's weird. They both call and say goodnight to the kids every night whichever house they are at. BM knows every detail of our lives, she even asks the kids every night what we had for dinner! She knows when we go to town what movies we watch when we go to the grocery store. I am glad that they don't have a hostile relationship for the sake of the kids but do they have to be that friendly? I feel like she is way to friggin involved in our life!
Sounds like BF hasn't
Sounds like BF hasn't accepted they are over ... on a subconscious level.
I don't know how you handle that one.
"Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves." ~ Abraham Lincoln
I would have thought that
I would have thought that too except he's the one who ended it. 6 years ago btw. I think part of it is he's a police officer & sees how ugly some divorces are & see's how people use their children as pawns. Several times a week he does what's called a "civil standby" for parents who can't get along long enough to exchange their children w/o fighting in a public place so I think in some aspects he's so relieved she's not been totally evil that he overcompensates. I have tried to explain that you can be civil w/o being buddies or being her doormat!
He may have ended it but
He may have ended it but doesn't mean he is over her.
I divorced my first husband out of self respect but was still in love with him. It hurt because he was such a stupid jerk but I had to leave.
NOW, I am ok but for about two years I still needed him in life in some way.
As I said, perhaps subconsciously, he hasn't dealt with everything.
You know him better than me of course.
"Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves." ~ Abraham Lincoln
www.bonusfamilies.com Specifi
www.bonusfamilies.com
Specifically:
http://www.bonusfamilies.com/articles/counterpartners.php?id=206
BOUNDARIES!!! Did he talk about this with you? Does he care how you feel? You need to be involved in the decisions if you are going to have to live with the consequences of them.
Wow...that is a little
Wow...that is a little nutty. That would be a little too much involvement for me. Yes, be friends and get along but there is clearly a boundry issue. Obviously you need to set it.
I don't know how i'd handle
I don't know how i'd handle it but it's nice in theory to have such an amicable relationship. i'd be ok with it if *I* were on the same level of friendly as everyone else seems to be. Meaning basically, if you're going to be buddy buddy with this person, they need to be buddy buddy with me too or it's not going to fly since this person is your exwife. but if it's just the two of them being all cushy together without you then i'd be unable to handle it. it has to be fair and equal.
"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."
..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."
"If they sold clues at Walmart,I'd be first in line to get one for DH" ~the lovely Jbee~
So tonight at dinner BF asks
So tonight at dinner BF asks me what I want to get his ex for her birthday. I ask him "why do we need to get her anything for her birthday I don't by any of my ex's presents" He says "I don't know I guess because she gets us stuff for our birthdays" ARRRGH and I hate it!!! I don't want presents from her! I don't want to buy her presents. I think it's time to break the cycle.....
NO NO NO....that is the word
NO NO NO....that is the word of the day for u! tell him im not getting her shit! ugghhh i would of already blown up girl how are u handling all of this? wickedwitchofthesouth goes to school functions but there is noway in hell i would let my dh sit w her over my dead body hes with u and needs to keep distant from bm i thinku need to set ur foot down and let it all out girl! remember word of the day!
oh yah and i would def not
oh yah and i would def not let his EXINLAWS IN MY HOUSE!!! go rent a hotelroom what does this looks lk a freakin days inn!!! hope all goes well for u!!1keep us updated
<<<<>>>> :)hang in there girly!
no way. no way.
no way. no way.