Need help first time step mom
I am new to this and about to explode!! I need help or some insight on how to deal with this issue because I don't feel this is right at all. My husbands Daughter is 8 and I have 4 kids ages 7-14 and we have 1 together. We have always had rules for the kids (mine) that they pick up after theirselves and have chores which 3 live with us, I also have a son that lives with his dad because of educational reasons. We get my son and his daughter every other weekend, well this weekend and for their spring break its gone to hell in a hand basket! I had my kids pick up their stuff before they came in and I pointed out something that his daughter had left and I told my son don't pick it up she will my husband threw a fit! Pointing out every little thing the others had laying around (which they wasn't done yet) saying well why don't you say something about this and that why do you have to make it a point for only her to pick this up? As if I was singling her out, it has gotten to where there is 2 different rules in the house my kids rules and his daughter has none whatsoever! Me and my children have to pick up after her and if I say something in getting my head bit off. I need help I'm about to lose my mind please!!!
Just tell the ahole to f-off.
Just tell the ahole to f-off.
I was told that because she
I was told that because she is only here every other weekend that her habits will not change due to BM and family always doing for her, but expects mine to just up and do it then and get a lecture over it. Don't get me wrong I love him to death but this is really getting to me
Lol kind of funny you used
Lol kind of funny you used that word Princess that is what everyone calls her and she is treated as such an only child for 8 years then 4 months ago we had our son but just because she is spoiled doesn't mean mine are treated like the servants. My kids may have their issues but they have manners and do as they are told with an outburst every once in a while but hell cant blame them when they see and you know they see how differently they are treated!! I will try that honestly but I am ocd and weird about the house it usually stays spotless and my kids are good about helping keep it that way but when she is here it's like wow can't handle this!!
Your kids should absolutely
Your kids should absolutely not be expected to pick up after your SD. That is ludicrouse. Tell you DH to back off and be fair. It's not like you expect her to pick up after your kids. He is being a bully a-hole.
Don't get me wrong SD is a
Don't get me wrong SD is a good kid love her to death, but how am I supposed to inforce the rules with my kids when it isn't inforced with her? I don't see how that's fair to any of them even with her. Just showing mine that they are worth less to him and that she is above everyone else...you know what I mean?
I'm talking about how do I
I'm talking about how do I with mine? It's not fair to them they are just kids and mine don't get no special treatment at all he is hard as nails when it comes to them because he says it's been years and they should have this routine down by heart now I'm sorry they are kids and are going to make mistakes I know I sure as hell did when I was their age, but for him to be like that I guess I am finally seeing his true colors and I don't like it. We got into a huge fight over it and I am over it. Why should my kids be treated like Cinderella and his the princess I don't get it when I treat them all equally like I thought it should be in the first place
Exactly no I don't want that
Exactly no I don't want that I honestly thought I was doing something wrong but from what I see nope so there I will be putting my foot down from now on
We must have married
We must have married brothers. Mine is a nightmare that is now emerging when it comes to his Princess and my children and my children aren't even in the home! One is grown and on his own and the other is in college/only home on breaks. SD9 is a flipping nightmare, I can't even go on about her or my BP goes up. But she is allowed to do whatever she wants, and after 6 years I am finished trying to teach right from wrong, it was to no avail anyway. Hubby thinks she is perfect yet she has no friends. There is absolutely NO discipline and she can do whatever she wants. No friends and approaching the teen years is not a good mix. She has no ability to interact and maintain a friendship with anyone her age. Bossy, manipulative, lies, has to be the center of attention or she literally will cry or pout or have a fit. If an adult did this it would be psychotic...but she is just a kid, so hubby says.
Yea I hear ya I really do!!!
Yea I hear ya I really do!!! My SD isn't that bad but she does get away with a lot my MIL and FIL put their foot down and agree with me on the views and yesterday hubby came home and it was different but I also bugged him all day or should I say she did I wouldn't answer anything I would let her call him everytime she asked to do something or if she wanted something. He came home and when I would tell my kids to do something or not do something he went right along and said "You have to do as she says too if they can't you can't if they are told to do something then you do it too" so idk if the in laws talked to him or what but it was a different page thank God!!
No. Ok my kids pick up and SD
No. Ok my kids pick up and SD does not!! My kids have been picking up after her and I have also I make one comment to my son no let her get it and he loses his shit. When I was told she has the same rules and she needs to pick up after herself I get backlash for doing just that. Also I don't see her being different than my kids so I guess in my head living in a fairytale bullshit land of don't treat kids like crap to treat them as if they was your own needs to stop. My kids love him and strive to get his approval but guess it won't get anywhere. Do I treat his child as he does mine?
No it didn't sit there for
No it didn't sit there for two weeks she had it earlier in the day and it was time to come in so wanted everyone to pick their things up that's when my husband jumped down my throat about making her pick it up like I was singling her out. Told me everything my kids do wrong over picking up after herself I mean really? Asshole I swear so now it's you deal with yours I got mine and don't dare say anything to mine you wouldn't want said to yours
Thank you I just don't get it
Thank you I just don't get it I would understand if I had bad kids but I get told all the time how good my kids are and how well mannered but it isn't good enough for him he sees them as a pain so guess you get what you give time
aww hun thats no good !
aww hun thats no good ! blended families are so hard ! i struggle as well and alot of the time the Ex's make things worse wen it comes to the childs attitude and respect my ex has turned my son into a spoilt brat and i find it hard ! i would just leave her stuff on the floor i know its hard for you cause you like it clean but dont make your children pick up her shit adn if your husband says anything id just say ..your daughter was using that so its her responsibility to clean up after herself. your kids will end up resenting her and your husband isnt helping the situation, your husband needs to realise that she isnt a princess and needs to learn to have some respect, but i do sympathise its so hard