So we have had custody since August of my 2 step daughters (4 and 5). They are doing really well in most respects. Both are rockstars in school/daycare. They are making more friends now that they have more contact with kids in the area and seem genuinely happy 90% of the time. However, since we got custody, BM has been increasingly disappointing them. She hardly calls, not even during her times set aside in the court order. We have to do all the calling/skyping and DH and I do make sure that they talk to her because we know its important. She has long weekends, hollidays, and one weekend a month in their local area (our city, she lives like 6 hours away).

Here's the latest bullshit. So she texts DH last wednesday and says shes going to be in the area for the weekend. Ok, great! We are thinking Saturday, Sunday... you know, the weekend. So then she tells the girls the night after on skype. They are super excited bc they havent seen her in like a month and a half. So then Friday she texts DH again with her plans. Her DH is coming here for a work thing. They'll be here SUNDAY AFTER 1PM. What the actual hell? So shes gotten the kids excited and we've planned our weekend and now she's not even going to be here until 1pm Sunday. DH says, ok, but is seriously pissed. So then she takes them Sunday, keeps them for 5ish hours counting time in the car and stuff. Returns them before 7. Whatever, but she tells DH she'll pick up SD4 from daycare after he drops her off and then she'll get SD5 from the bus. Well she also tells SDs this, so again. all excited about spending time with BM. Monday comes, DH drops SD4 off. I get a text at 12pm that she just fell and chipped a tooth on the playground. I text him back and ask when. He says just now. I say well isn't she suppose to be with her mother? He says she just picked her up. Im like WTF? its now 1pm. So then 3pm starts to roll around and I haven't heard from BM or seen her car so I go up to the bus stop to get SD5 and text BM asking if shes already up there. She texts back that she'll be there soon. Um, ok. SD5 gets off the bus and I can just see the disappointment on her face and I feel so bad for her. Her mom shows up an hour and a half later. Keeps them till 630 and then brings them back and tells them she's heading back to her house. SD5 was a wreck, pulling on BM begging her not to go, saying shes going to miss her, crying. She's clearly distressed and BM is dragging out her goodbye even though she can tell its making it worse. Every second she stays, SD5 gets more and more frantic. When she finally leaves I spend a solid hour laying down with SD while she cried herself to sleep. She tells me her mom doesn't do mommy things and she wishes I was her mom because I never leave her. She is just a mess. I eventually went and got her dad to go comfort her since sometimes him being her natural parent helps more than I can. All week SD5 has been asking when she gets to see her mom and I just say in a little while but its breaking my heart to see her so hurt. She definitely felt rejected that her mom didn't get her when she said she would AND that her mom was with SD4 at the time. I don't know what to do to help her. Parental rejection is the worst. And it doesn't help that BM just shaved 2 days of her thanksgiving visitation....