Hi all I'm new to this site. A close friend of mine suggested findin others online since I dont have many friends that are stepmoms. Anyway I've been a step mom for almost 4 years now to a 9 year old girl. My husband gets her 2 days a week and for the most part things are great! Her mom and I talk often and arnt afraid to express our feelings well for the most part. My husband and I had a falling out of course which lead to them break ing up but of course its fine because I have the love of my life. I try not to overstep my boundaries as I'm not her mom but even her mom will call us team mom and says its our girl. I'm happy she includes me but she's still not mine so I still keep a distance. Anyway the few years or so I've been biting my tongue. I want to say it so badly but dont want to offend her. My husband his parents and myself always think the girl dresses and looks awful all the time. We dont have a lot of extra money but when we can we try to make her look nice with a new outfit or two. Almost every time my husband gets her from school she's wearing shorts in freezing weather or a sloppy over sized shirt with a hair a mess. Again I know I'm not mom but how Long can this go on for? Just recently my step daughter tells me how she has no poop in her underwear. Like she is so proud of herself at 9! I know her mother loves her dearly and really is a good mom but is there a good way of bringing it up? If my husband does she will be not kind, with me she's never responded rudely. Seriously. Is this a subject that I shouldn't? I know none of y'all knownot our relationsh ip but we have had some pretty deep talks. Icould possibly understand if money was tight but we know its not as she tells me a lot...