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Oh my God I'm going to pull my hair out!

nunya1983's picture

So SD10 and dd10 went to my mom's yesterday, dd11 is at day camp. They took their electronics (which was a way that I figured SD could stay out of my mom's hair and from causing trouble with dd10. Well SD hides dds DS from her before it was time to go. hasn't admitted it yet but she say around watching my mom and dd look desperately for it. Then my mom told her to get up and look, that they weren't leaving until it was found. She went in the other room (that my dd didn't even go in) and found it in the first place she looks. Wow how did that happen? She says it must have been just a coincidence. I told her that my mom might not want her to come over anymore if she continues to act like that.

So later on after dinner she was super hyper (that's what happens when she eats right so good for her). Dh tells her go outside and burn off some of this energy, do some push ups. She says she can't do any, so dh asked if dd10 could help her. Not more than a minute later SD comes in saying dd was yelling at her, so I said them just go run around the garage then (knowing dd didn't yell at her we can hear everything going on outside. I usually have to ask them to write down because I can't hear the tv when they are playing outside). Well later on dd tells me she wasn't yelling at SD, so I asked her what happened. She said she was helping SD position her feet, and SD said "dd, I can't do push ups." Then when she was up that dd told her to keep her butt down. Then SD said "if I do one will you just shut up". Then after dd got tired of SD being rude she was just going to come inside. SD thought she was going to come tell so she just ran past dd and came and said dd was telling at her. I told her she should have told me earlier that SD was lying, we'll fix it in the morning. Right now is bed time. So this morning I told SD I knew what actually happened and that she's going to tell her father. When she told him all he said was I figured she didn't. Didn't do anything to her about her lying, her trying to get dd in trouble for something she didn't do, about her rude behavior... none of it! I was hoping he'd do something since it was put right there in his face... but no, he can't deny it was her,she said she duos it

Comments

twoviewpoints's picture

I don't usually get into kid crap where the kids are doing the 'Mom, so and so did x', 'oh no I didn't, but so and so did this x'. GO settle it yourselves my little darlings. In your given instance of the exercising? I would not have sent the other child out to 'help' or assist (to me it's setting up one as superior in function than the other child, I don't spend time trying to show one kids how inferior in abilities than another child. I simply don't compare one child to another).

The incident at Grandma's house. Grandma handled it. She made SGD get off her butt and hunt. Product was found. Did SD hid it? I have no clue. As a grandmother I also do not tolerate crap. An item lost, both kids get off your butts and find it. I'll be in the kitchen, we're leaving in 15mins. One or both of you had best get it found now. If object isn't found within the 15 minutes neither one of you will be ever bringing such gadgets over here again.

*shrugs* I just don't get into kiddie crap. If SD will not/does not respect your mother, don't let her go back. Grandma has better things to fill her day with than brat girls.

nunya1983's picture

I see what you're saying, SD adding she can't do it is crap, she also says that she "can't" put clothes back on the clip hangers at stores she also "can't" open the top to sippy cups she "can't" wash her own hair, she "can't" take the tags off her hair. Dd is actually really good at push ups (I can't really do push ups that well either, I think dh just really wanted her out of his hair for a while). Her coach and pe teacher all go on and on about how she shows other team mates the right way to do them. I've seen her help dd11 how to do a push up correctly... she's so patient and understanding... but I do see how with the wrong setting it can be wrong.

twoviewpoints's picture

There's nothing wrong in another child helping SD learn how to do something if the unskilled is wanting and willing to be taught. In the push up out side, SD didn't want to do push ups to start with. Therefore she started the exercise off with a nasty 'tude. Maybe next time tell SD to go out and pick up sticks or weed the garden. Something that burns energy yet doesn't put another kid in the middle. From what you say, SD will get out there stare at the weed/stick and whine 'I can't', or 'I don't know how'. Ignore the clueless. Dad can tell her she better get it figured out as she's not getting out of the chore. The girl needs to exercise. I'm sure her dr just told her she needs to (just having been diagnosed diabetic). Exercise doesn't have to be push ups and running around the garage though. It can be stretching and bending (thus the sticks/weeds suggestion).

nunya1983's picture

She didn't mind the running, I didn't care what she did, add long add she was outside away from me. Dh wanted her to do push ups. I agree I don't want either of my dds involved from here on out. I told them to stay away from SD when they go to camp before school starts. I want them to do as least as possible with SD. I just thought that it might help, I still feel guilty about my mixed emotions about her. I can't stand her, but I care about her. She's so mean, hateful, and conniving and lazy, but I know it's her patents fault for not teaching her differently.

nunya1983's picture

The one thing I did do, because dh only said "I didn't think dd did yell", was ask her if she knew the story of the boot who cried wolf. She said yes. I told her that if she's not careful, she will get eaten by the wolf, I asked if she engendered the ending of the story where the boy got eaten, she remembered it. I told her that nobody is going to believe her (and motioned toward dh) if she continued to lie.

nunya1983's picture

It may be a "kid thing", but it's just a branch of her bad behavior. It does need to be dealt with in some manner, she goes from this, to hiding dds toys, to lying about what a toy is so that she can get it, too ruining my rice cooker and blaming dds for it, too, destroying dds property and lying, to gee,I forget there are so many different times. It starts out as a lying habit, but branches out to affect other kids and people around her.

This is why I always thanked my kids for telling the truth when they admitted to something they've done. They get punished for the wrong doing, but I always told them thank you for not lying about it. I'm glad that they haven't ever picked up this habit/personality that SD has.

Disneyfan's picture

Why can't her dad just take the kid for a walk around the neighborhood or to the park to ride their bikes?

The exercise will benefit the both of them, give SD one on one time with her dad, and give the girls some time apart.

IslandGal's picture

I totally agree with this. Walking around or riding bikes is a great way for them to exercise and spend some time together..Fantastic idea!!

When SS13 comes over and if it's a nice day, my SO will take him for a bike ride. They love it! They can go for 1-2 hours, just the two of them, exploring and bonding..and I'm left in peace to clean the house..or take my 16 yr old BS for a driving lesson - win win all around!

notsurehowtodeal's picture

1nicole is right. I have read most of your blogs and the sense I get is that this girl will never be able to do anything to please you. All you seem to do is criticize this child for the most minor of offenses. An awful lot of it seems to be normal childhood stuff - nothing to do with her being a step.

There is no way that she cannot know that you dislike her. For her sake and yours it might be time to completely disengage. Just leave her alone and let her father deal with her.