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The adventures of SS13....

Sootica's picture

Submitted by Sootica on Wed, 06/03/2015 - 4:29pm

DH had a medical appointment late this afternoon.I was at work and wouldn't be home until 6pm so DH told SS he is to come straight home after school and then go to his hospital appointment with him. This was arranged on Tuesday evening (SS stays with us every single Tues & Weds & alternate weekends). DH tellls SS that it's really important he doesn't mess about after school as they will be tight for time.DH was up in London in meetings all day so had to race back to be back in time for SS coming home from school.

SS13 then decides actually he would much rather go off with his friend after school who lives in the next village.SS rings DH from friend's mobile (SS is currently without his phone as he is "grounded" -see previous blogs -what a joke!) and leaves a voicemail that he is off with his friend.DH was on the train back from London when the message came through.DH spends the rest of the afternoon trying to get hold of SS via his friend's phone -both kids don't pick up.Eventually at 8pm SS rings DH to come and collect him from another friend's house!When DH gets to where SS is, SS informs DH that his school bag is at a third friend's house since 16:00 so they need to go pick it up -it is 20:30 at this point!

DH was fuming but of course not much gets done.I told DH to cancel the weekend away we are all meant to be having as there is no point "grounding" SS but taking him away to do fun things on the weekend.DH's response was "But we can't ruin it for MIL" (we taking her away too). I personally would never allow a 13 year old out unsupervised until 20:30 at night especially not on a school night,but hey what do I know?!

Last night they were at the mall buying a pair of sneakers that SS wanted for ages.Growing up when I was grounded did not entail treats,outings and gifts but I guess times have changed.

Comments

justthegirlfriend13's picture

Submitted by justthegirlfriend13 on Wed, 06/03/2015 - 4:38pm

If that was my daughter I would have been up one side of her and down the other! Uh uh, no way jose do you decide what you want to do and just do it without permission, then expect a parent to come pick you up AND have to chauffeur you around to get your belongings?!?!? OMG the nerve! I would have been irate! And DH STILL wants to take the kid away AND buy him new shoes? WHAT is wrong with that man?? I will never understand why they don't get it.

furkidsforme's picture

Submitted by furkidsforme on Wed, 06/03/2015 - 5:09pm

I would have been beaten bloody, and ordered to muck out the barn to spotlessness every morning and night until otherwise informed.

But then again, I'd have never pulled such a stunt, because my parents PARENTED me.

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Wed, 06/03/2015 - 7:02pm

Sadly this is the path my OSS took until he ended up on the wrong side of the law.
Your DH is a babysitter. That is all. He doesn't really care about his son. HE just wants to take care of him because he doesn't have any emotional investment in his son's future as a functioning contributing member of society.

As for the weekend away... just call MIL and tell her what her grandson did and you will not be party to entertaining him with the weekend-away reward. So if she still wants to go away with her son and grandson she will understand why you won't be there.

Stand your ground. Do not engage with DH about ANYTHING regarding his son. If he does something stupid and DH gets annoyed or angry just say "What a shame." And walk away from the drama. DH uses you as the buffer. He really wants to get angry with his son but really cannot be bothered so he allows you to get angry and then plays the "Oh well, he is just a kid" card. You are his angry self and he is his babysitter self.

TheAccidentalSM's picture

Submitted by TheAccidentalSM on Thu, 06/04/2015 - 2:32am

Did your DH make his medical appointment? I know how hard it can be to get one in the first place.

Sootica's picture

Submitted by Sootica on Thu, 06/04/2015 - 12:19pm

TheAccidentalSM yes he did make the appointment-just!

I agree that is completely unacceptable what happened, if I pulled a stunt like this with my parents growing up I wouldn't have been able to sit on my backside for a week!Maybe that's why I never dreamed of doing something like this.

Oneoffour that's an interesting perspective I never thought of it that way-him using me as a buffer.You are right I'm going to start showing zero emotion when the SS drama starts & wait to see what happens.I have told DH a million times SS is going to have a run in with the law soon if he carries on this way -but hey what do I know?!