Have You Ever Stood By....
and watched the circus (that's not yours) in living color?
Yes, I know you have...
I'm just, ugh. I try to stay out of whatever it is that is going on with DH's kids unless it directly impacts me. Mostly things don't, unless you count DH's piss-poor attitude and grumpiness because of his kids' behaviors, which is what I've been dealing with lately.
SK's have been out of high school for a year. Are doing pretty much nothing. OK, so one took 3 college courses and has completed those. The other STARTED 2 courses, then dropped out. They don't work, either. DH's CS obligation ended at the end of last year and I know he was struggling with stopping the CS so I convinced him that stopping it going to BM is one thing, but he can still "help out" by giving SK's money directly. Little did I know what all that would entail...
So, as I said, they don't work. Allegedly, they're looking for jobs, but to hear them talk everything is beneath them... doesn't pay enough... they don't like the hours... blah blah blah. Of course, the only time I see hide or hair of them is on "payday" -- Fridays -- when DH peels off the bills to hand to them so they can have gas $ to "go fill out job applications." And yes, DH KNOWS 99.9999% of all companies now require apps online.
Then on top of this, BM is calling to screech at DH because he should be MAKING THEM get jobs. Really? "Make them?" This coming from a lovely specimen who chose to be unemployed until a month before CS stopped because she felt it was DH's duty to support HER. So...they grew up watching her spend her time doing basically nothing, not working, expecting everyone else to just hand her money to live. What's that saying, "you learn what you live" or something like that?? The SK's learned from a professional grifter there, what does she expect?? And she's mad because according to her (and honestly, I believe her), all they do is computer gaming all night and sleeping all day.
But, get this: I'm not allowed to say anything at all around them about my DD17 or my DSstb15 both being officially employed because he doesn't want his kids to "feel bad." Really? I don't think they have the capacity to feel bad. Or, if they do, they obviously don't feel badly enough to jumpstart them to also become employed?
I'm waiting for BM to kick them out of the house. She already makes them buy their own food/drinks/razors/shampoo/etc because she says she can't afford to. Which is probably where the $ DH gives them is going. Thankfully DH and I have already had this conversation stemming from a close call a year ago when one of the SKs got into a fight with BM and immediately wanted to come live here with us. I told DH NO WAY would he live here.... SK learned early on (thanks to DH in the early, ugly years) that I was not someone to be respected, nor were my kids or this household. I told DH if it came down to it, he would move out and get an apartment with them but they would NOT live here. He created that mess, I'm not about to live with it 24/7/365.
OK, vent over.
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Comments
they SHOULD feel bad! i'd
they SHOULD feel bad! i'd mention it every. single. time. u saw their faces.
gah. ur dh is being a nitwit. makes me appreciate mine - he would chime in right there with me, at oss. anytime he "needs" something, he's met with the same refrain "then get a jooooobbbb."
He threw out a threat
He threw out a threat (without teeth) a couple of weeks ago that he'd cut off their phones (that we pay for) if they didn't get jobs. Riiiiiggggggggttttttt, DH. Way to show your ass yet one more time because we all know you won't do it. But I'll update if he does....
I do have to say, though, DH is really trying -- he sends them links to jobs, has obtained apps at his place of employment for them (don't know if they filled them out or not), and keeps asking them in a kind, gentle sort of way if they're actively looking.
While on the other hand he's threatening to take my DS's phone away permanently for doing something (that wasn't all that bad -- really -- and I'm a hard-ass mom and would admit if it was) that is typical almost-15-year-old behavior. I cut DH off real quick like.
lol ah the toothless threat.
lol ah the toothless threat. i've told dh flat out (on may occasions!) "dont waste your breath to say it or get worked up over it if u're not gonna follow through on it. u're just teaching them that your word is worthless."
of course he's gonna be more of a hardass with your kid. he knows he's failed with his own!
Nope, I say what I mean, and
Nope, I say what I mean, and mean what I say. He doesn't care if I talk about my kids being employed, he'd just rather I not discuss it in front of his parents or his feckless children. >whatever< But in response to your post, he does not control what I talk about. It was a "suggestion" that I ignored.
Besides, it's kinda hard to keep it a 'secret' when my daughter comes home in her "uniform" and I have to excuse myself from dinner when his parents and his kids were here to take my son to work.