Dealing with MIL
My MIL has her son DH over for family dinner every other weekend with daughters age11 and 8. DH would go there after he picked up daughters for weekend visits when we were dating. We have been married for 7 years now. She refuses to invite me and my kids over to the "family dinner". DH has repeatedly asked her why. She says its too much work. But they have gone out to eat several times during these "family dinners"
She buys expensive gifts for "her grandchildren". My kids get a $20 bill handed to DH to give to them. DH says she doesn't have to give my kids anything for bDays and XMAS.? I thought when we got married, we became ONE family. My mom accepts his kids fully and equally with my kids.
And yes she invites DH and (only) me over for dinner when the adults get together, (DH's sister, brother and spouses). When I need to be brought out to show "happy family". I have come to the point that I deliberately come up with excuses why I can not attend.
Should I have a problem with this second class treatment ? Or should I just let it go?
Yes you should have a
Yes you should have a problem with it and so should your dh. He is wrong in thinking his mother behavior is acceptable. I can sort of understand spending (a little) more time / money on her gkids but not so much more that it is blantantly obvious that she put no thought into your children at all. She certainly should not be excluding 1/2 dh's family from "family" dinners and quite frankly he shouldn't be attending without the rest of his family. The only way MIL will understand that her behavior is unacceptable is if someone makes it clear. Asking her why is not making it clear. Conversation without expectations and consequences for not meeting those expectations is just nagging. He needs to let her know that he finds this behavior disrespectful to you and (by default) him and that he will no longer be bringing his kids there for dinner unless the entire family is invited.
I would never go to any events with MIL unless she could treat me fairly all the time. I have issues with my MIL too, but my dh is 100 percent on my side of the line.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
Thanks for your input! Nice
Thanks for your input! Nice to know I am not hyper-sensitive about this.
Actually, DH has brought this up with MIL several times. She comes up with different excuses but the root cause is that she does not see my children as her grandchildren.
I have not pushed the issue because frankly I do not WANT to attend these dinners. She has had 7 years to make this right. Time's UP! I am refusing to go to these dinners without my kids.
DH has been guilted into attending since he was a single dad before we got together.