Apparently I'm not allowed to have plans now!
So the steps planned "family dinner" and excluded me for Christmas (see previous post). So what did I do??? I made plans to go do something. Of course this makes me a horrible stepmother!!! Didn't I know if I was excluded from something I was supposed to sit at home all sad and lonely! How darn I make plans to go shopping at a local flea market and go to a Christmas parade! I'm supposed to be sad and lonely home alone!
And guess what because I dared to make plans for myself it's all my fault daddy didn't go to their dinner! Couldn't be he didn't go because you excluded his wife! Of course the reason he didn't go was because the wicked stepmother made plans to go do something and never mind dear old daddy has his own car and could have gone anywhere he wanted. It must be stepmom's fault because she dared go do something instead of sitting at home sad and lonely.
Oh and the horrible wicked stepmother now planned to go to the local vineyard for New Years Eve instead of letting all the adult step kids come over and treat her house like a frat party.
I'm a horrible stepmother how dare I have a life!!! I'm supposed to sit at home sad and lonely! (this part I actually said to DH when I found out the step kids were complaining I had plans on the days they excluded from their "family dinner"). I told him every time they do something and exclude me I will plan something for me and my kids to do. I will not sit home. You have your own car you can do whatever you want!
Being a "horrible stepmother"
Being a "horrible stepmother" is a badge of honor when you are dealing with ultra s&*^y ahole skids.
So, they excluded you, you
So, they excluded you, you made your own plans and your husband decided to not go to their dinner? Did he go with you to the flea market and parade, then? I hope so.
Did your husband even say anything to them about not inviting you?
Of course, they are going to blame you instead of thinking, "Hey, I'm an asshole for not inviting my dad's wife and because she's his wife, he's going to be with her instead." Duh.
There's no way in hell they would be invited to my house for New Year's Eve or anything else. I mean, why would they want to come, you'll be there.
I hope you don't care what they think about you.
Yep he went with me He
Yep he went with me
He talked to stepson and he actually saw how crappy they were being but I think his daughter's figured out he was mad and are staying clear of him other then fawning all over him on Facebook.
You go! Enjoy your life! I
You go! Enjoy your life! I hope your husband sided with you and joined you rather than exclude you.
Why would they exclude you on
Why would they exclude you on Xmas but think they can use your home for New Year's Eve? Wow! Talk about some rude people. Your DH must be so proud. :sick:
Skiddie's exclusion plan
Skiddie's exclusion plan backfired on themselves. Wah!!!
Your comments reminded me of
Your comments reminded me of a post I saw more than once where someone made the comment something along the lines of SMs hogging all of dad's time. I thought, what?! Do step-kids really think that when their dad comes home to his wife, his wife serves him dinner and then immediately attaches a ball and chain to one of his legs so he can't leave without her unlocking the ball and chain. Right, in this day and age with cell phones, etc. dad or his stepkids can't pick up the phone and call one another and make plans? I mean, I didn't get it at all. How can any adult think that the reason they are not seeing their dad has anything other than to do with them or their dad!? Why in God's name would they think some third party is involved?
A-h-h, they just don't get that and they just don't get that their dad loves his wife either, and wants to be with his wife. Even if the SKs are married themselves, they don't get it--they don't even remotely think of their dad and his wife as being a couple just like they are. They see SM as some sort of non-human, who uses her evil super powers to hypnotize and control their dad using some sort of ancient trance that turns him into a small robot capable of only doing her bidding. Only happens in comic books.
But, I'm starting to come to believe that what it may be for some, anyway, is a convenient excuse to not have a relationship with their dad. Like a lot of things, SM makes a convenient scapegoat. Years after the divorce, dad and his children may not really know each other that much. Neither one wants to admit this and neither one wants to really do anything about it. So, of course, SM gets the blame.
To be fair, there a lot of
To be fair, there a lot of SMs that do not want their husbands seeing their kids without them. Even a simple lunch between Dad and his kid, without the SM, is offensive.
I couldn't care less if my SD24 invited DH to lunch some afternoon and didn't invite me. I wouldn't be offended, she has every right to see her dad without me present every single time.
But to invite the DH to a family Christmas dinner and exclude his wife? That is another thing entirely. That is them wanting him to make a choice, pure and simple, and feeling confident that the choice will be them. They forced him to make a choice, he made it, and now they blame the SM. They are old enough to know better, and I believe they do know better, they are just playing games (and losing).
My SD would never try it, she knows what choice my DH would make and she knows he would make that choice completely on his own. She also knows that it would be wrong of her in the first place (and she is not that bright).
That's what I told DH and SS.
That's what I told DH and SS. If they want to go have a dinner just them and hubby then that's fine. But when you have a dinner and everyone else brings their spouse (all steps are married) but DH can't bring his that's another story!
SS tried to justify it to me until I asked him if he would be ok leaving his spouse home while everyone else could bring theirs. He actually changed his mind and decided it wasn't ok but of course won't say that to his sisters.
That's what I told DH and SS.
That's what I told DH and SS. If they want to go have a dinner just them and hubby then that's fine. But when you have a dinner and everyone else brings their spouse (all steps are married) but DH can't bring his that's another story!
SS tried to justify it to me until I asked him if he would be ok leaving his spouse home while everyone else could bring theirs. He actually changed his mind and decided it wasn't ok but of course won't say that to his sisters.
That's what I told DH and SS.
That's what I told DH and SS. If they want to go have a dinner just them and hubby then that's fine. But when you have a dinner and everyone else brings their spouse (all steps are married) but DH can't bring his that's another story!
SS tried to justify it to me until I asked him if he would be ok leaving his spouse home while everyone else could bring theirs. He actually changed his mind and decided it wasn't ok but of course won't say that to his sisters.
That's what I told DH and SS.
That's what I told DH and SS. If they want to go have a dinner just them and hubby then that's fine. But when you have a dinner and everyone else brings their spouse (all steps are married) but DH can't bring his that's another story!
SS tried to justify it to me until I asked him if he would be ok leaving his spouse home while everyone else could bring theirs. He actually changed his mind and decided it wasn't ok but of course won't say that to his sisters.
That's what I told DH and SS.
That's what I told DH and SS. If they want to go have a dinner just them and hubby then that's fine. But when you have a dinner and everyone else brings their spouse (all steps are married) but DH can't bring his that's another story!
SS tried to justify it to me until I asked him if he would be ok leaving his spouse home while everyone else could bring theirs. He actually changed his mind and decided it wasn't ok but of course won't say that to his sisters.
That's what I told DH and SS.
That's what I told DH and SS. If they want to go have a dinner just them and hubby then that's fine. But when you have a dinner and everyone else brings their spouse (all steps are married) but DH can't bring his that's another story!
SS tried to justify it to me until I asked him if he would be ok leaving his spouse home while everyone else could bring theirs. He actually changed his mind and decided it wasn't ok but of course won't say that to his sisters.
Opps no idea why that posted
Opps no idea why that posted so many times! :jawdrop:
That was God's way of trying
That was God's way of trying to get the truth across.
Haha
Haha
Good for you! As other
Good for you! As other posters have pointed out, going out to an occasional lunch or dinner with Dad is one thing - being excluded from a 'family' dinner is another. You did the right thing by deciding to have fun doing something else. Life is just too short to be jacked around like that. And when you made sense to SS about leaving HIS wife at home, it is too bad the message can not get through to the other skids. At least your DH backs you up.
I had a similar experience recently with DH's family. I had a choice of having to go to a family Christmas party and listen to his SIL bla, bla, bla about how sharp she is, complain about how stupid everyone else is, and endure hours and hours of 'tales from yesteryear'. I told him I would rather have a root canal and had other plans for the day, but he could go without me. At first he pouted, then I started making him a copy SIL's daily email rants. He decided to go with me instead. LOL
Good for you, ETexasMom! How
Good for you, ETexasMom! How sad when the skids think they can force their Dad to choose them over his wife! They don't get it that it alienates their dad even more, but in their twisted minds, they blame the evil SM, when in fact, it's their actions that keeps dad away.
^^^^^THIS!^^^^^
^^^^^THIS!^^^^^
Thank you all for your sane
Thank you all for your sane comments. Makes my daily hell of SC better, knowing I am not alone.