The only thing worse than a liar is a bad liar. Before the advent of the text message liars had plausible deniability however with everyone's every word being documented,it's gotten harder for liars to backtrack on their bullshit as proof is just a screen shot away. Anyone with an IQ above their age can see the writing on the wall and admit defeat when confronted by those pesky little things called facts but not unfortunately we aren't dealing with an individual who possesses such intellectual prowess. No, clinging tightly to stubborn stupidity as if it could somehow shield her from reality, BM just changes course and says it's none of our business.

SD spends half of the time she should be with BM with SD's first husband's mother. Did I mention that her first husband is a dangerous individual who punched said mother in the face just a few months back while SD was present? No worries,just tell SD not to mention it to us, just claim he's not allowed there and when all else fails, tell is it's none of our business. SD is afraid of BM's boyfriend and sobbed for 20 minutes when I told her she had to go back to BM'S today but I suppose that's none of our business either. SD stands for step daughter and I know that but she's a human being, an innocent child with feelings and it sucks that her BM cares more about getting laid and getting paid than she does about being a mother to SD.

One of the hardest things I've experienced is watching her cry over having to go back there, listening to her beg me to pick her up from school before BM'S douche boyfriend van get there and knowing that I can't do anything about it. I remember my parents divorce and how I felt going through the same thing, begging my dad not to take me back and knowing that my hands are tied, just as his were doesn't make me feel any better just as being her stepmom as opposed to her biological mother doesn't make me feel any less responsible for SD'S happiness and well being.

Furthermore, it's damn hard to tiptoe around the truth when talking to SD about the situation. She wants to know why BM has douche BF picking her up instead of letting her come back to our house, why BM doesn't care that SD hates the douche BF or why she can't just live with us. It's mind blowing to hear a six year old say 'I'm her daughter, she should care about me and what's best for me but she just doesn't for some reason.' How the hell do you respond to that?! DH and I NEVER speak about BM in front of her, our bedroom isn't on the same floor and if our older kids; SS14, BS13 and SD12 talk about anything having to do with her at all, they say my friend Susan. At just 6 years old, SD has noticed the difference between our home and BMS, how we treat her and how BM does, the quality of the time we spend with her, etc.

What BM doesn't seem to understand (or maybe she just doesn't care) is that I don't want to replace her or show her up; I want HER to be a good mother to SD. Sigh.