Totally done with SS & he knows it

I've been saying it for a few years as it has escalated into worse behavior from him. I finally told DH if he couldn't get the child's behavior towards me under control I would no longer help him out by watching the kids. He finally said I agree. I doubt he meant it but he's not letting the SS giving me all the trouble know he isn't backing me up. So I said he has 1 opportunity and then I'm done. So we are all in walmart and the kid is having a fit & jerking away from everyone so I said I'm done. So I told him he needed to walk with his daddy as he went to get a drink .. He told me to shut up.. So DH comes back and sees the look on my face and asks what happened .. I told him & said that's it. I'm not doing this with him. So he said well son you have done it now and I can't blame her. In the vehicle I said listen I've asked you what the problem is and refuse to answer me so unless you can give me a reason as to why you treat me this way then you don't have a reason.. No answer I said then there is no excuse. DH said son you use to absolutely love her & the. You started coming home from your mom and saying mom said to do this to wah wah, mom said I don't have to listen to her.. He said there's no excuse any more you are old enough to know right from wrong .. He said we may get on your nerves and make mind, but we work extra to buy you guys stuff and take you places and this is how you treat her?

So I refuse to help him, reuse to take him to ball. He's 9 and told me he needed to go pee while we were in the kitchen .. I said then go pee that's not something every one needs to know. He's been kissing my butt all morning. DH said son this is coming natural to you.. You don't even have to try to be nice to her .. So why can't you be nice all the time?

Blank blink .. Oh well

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I'm sure BM's efforts are

I'm sure BM's efforts are part of it.... but your DH needs to recognize and own that actually this had more to do with HIM than with whatever garbage BM is or was saying.

Every single tiny time the little brat was rude or indifferent to you, and DH did nothing, he gave that kid the green light to shit all over you. And not only that, but created an alliance between him and the kid so that it was those two AGAINST you.

He did this. I hope he has fun un-doing it. Stand firm, insist EVERY SINGLE TINY INFRACTION be dealt with.

Been telling him that got

Been telling him that got years .. He still blames her but as long as he is dealing with him which. I know this may never be fixed

Oh yes DH has allowed this bc

Oh yes DH has allowed this bc he didn't want to make the kids mad so they would Say they didn't want to live with him. But the child is now like this with everyone and he's getting worse. Last time they went to court over custody the kids told a GaL they wanted to live with mom bc of sports and she does the fun stuff (she only has on weekends.. We have during school & they forget we are constantly taking them places during the summer) but DH saw they were gonna say that no matter what..