I've been married to a great guy for almost 2 years, not our first marriage, we are older (late 40's and 50's) so no biological kids, nor to come I have 2 grown daughters and he has 2 grown daughters and we have his 17 year old son living with us full-time, always have. I was recently told by my Husbands ex wife (who still talks to everyone in this "Smith" family that nobody likes me in fact some hate me and I am only tolerated because i'm __ wife." At the same time she tells me about her entertainment of many things going on in my house including the day of my husband sleeping on the couch. I am wife no. 4 so I get they may all believe I'm disposable. I however don't feel that way, my first marriage was for 25 years and we are very amicable and do our kids life events all together and happily, no disrespect whatsoever. I am in this marriage for the long haul through thick and thin. I'm finding out that no matter how many invitations for dinner I offer or just come over for coffee, etc. the answer is always no. My husband goes to his parents where everyone is while I'm at work to see everyone. He has different hours and can work from home (which is 2 miles from his parents). From day one I've been told Sunday dinners are here, holidays are here, vacations are all together in this family also and that means every part of the vacation is together also. Both grown sons (my husband and his brother) have always done this and no ex wife has ever even came to a birthday party or graduation party. Sometimes I feel like I've really married into a cult like family. At no time has anyone ever said "what are your family traditions, etc., " They invite my kids and my parents but my mom feels awful saying no but really wants to cook at her house and not invite all 12 of them. I don't conform completely and I cook my own Sunday dinners since its my only day to enjoy cooking and chilling out because I work. I feel like I need to just stop complaining about trying to fit in, when all the details confirm what this ex threw at me. I don't want to be tolerated, misquotes are tolerated. And I guess I don't want to be accepted like when a dr tells you that you have a terminal disease, that, you must accept. I want people if they choose to care to talk to me, tell me what I've done and lets fix it or agree to not pretend to like me. I'm so sorry this is long I guess I ramble.