Get life back together.

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Hello all.

I need to get the ball rolling. I am unemployed with a BD that doesnt live with me. I live with W and SS10. Mostly things are ok, I just feel there is an invisible resentment there or elephant in the room sometimes. I mean there is an entire story as to how things got this way but complaining about them doesnt make things any better right?

My social circle has dwindled down to null. My phone doesnt ring, only sometimes when its my mom lol. Me and the W hardly go out because their is no one to watch SS or we would have to pay for a nanny. My W has control over the finances, foots the bills, etc.

Jobs have been bumpy the past few years, and mainly now I see mostly because of me and my attitude. I am working on changing. Trying to figure out where to start...

This is just me, but I got my

This is just me, but I got my life back together at church. I found a good one, with great people, and this was after years of avoiding it due to negative experiences at churches. If you have an aversion to church, perhaps a support group is available out there. Make some calls or google. A counselor might be able to help you directly or with finding a support group. Maybe a life coach? God bless you either way.

Yea I could look for jobs

Yea I could look for jobs like that but wouldnt I just be giving in to defeat? I mean, I know that socializing and working with others is important, so shouldnt I keep trying? I dont want to be shut away from people, I would like to be out there getting to know people and making friends. Also, alot of those types of jobs dont pay much as far as I know.

I guess you are right. I have

I guess you are right. I have been through so much and sometimes it just seems like the cards are stacked against me. I mean I work but then CS is taken from me. A big chunk of it. Then the no friends factor, come home feeling second rate, etc.

I pay CS but dont hardly get to see my bio. In fact I dont know much about what bio does on a day to day basis. Dont talk to ex.

Then worries of whether the next job will be a "repeat" of the past. Its like what am I doing all this for?

I bet your wife is feed up

I bet your wife is feed up with you losing JOBS due to your attitude. The resentment may because she sick of supporting a grown ass man who can't keep a job.

If wife is footing all of the bills in your home, who is paying CS for your daughter?

I'm sure she is fed up. But

I'm sure she is fed up. But in my defense, I kind of purposely didnt put forth effort for employment to get back at her for showing me some resentment early on in the relationship (i know its childish). There was a moment in our early relationship when I felt rejected and I was in a vulnerable state. I also felt like we married too fast. Like I didnt get enough time to be single and "explore".

CS is stacking to the ceiling. In a way, I feel like im getting back at ex for the crap she put me through (still childish?)

Incredibly childish. You are

Incredibly childish. You are basically using your wife as a bank machine and wondering why theres an elephant in the room? Well, most women dont appreciate men that arent able to be men, without going into all the old fashioned "men are meant to provide" but damn in this day and age both partners should be putting in equal effort and bringing in equal to their households.
It wouldnt surprise me if you were to say your physical relationship has taken a turn for the worse, because theres nothing less attractive than a grown man leaching off you.

You say you felt like you married too fast, well sunshine it takes two people to stand at the alter and say "I do" if you werent emotionally available for marriage you shouldnt have gotten married, if you regret doing it then file for a divorce and go "explore" however much you want to but dont scam this woman by leaching off her for any longer.

CS will stack to the ceiling and it will still be there, and whilst you may feel like you are getting back at your ex, all you are doing is handing her ammunition to tell your child that you are incapable for providing for her.
There are parents out there that work multiple jobs to make ends meet and there are parents, particularly fathers that have a hellish time in court because of parents like you that shy from their responsibility and sit home on unemployment because they cant be bothered.

I also felt like we married

I also felt like we married too fast. Like I didnt get enough time to be single and "explore".

More like you didn't get enough time to grow the hell up.

You feel like you're getting back at the ex by not paying child support? That money is for your kids.

If I was your wife (which I wouldn't be) I'd have control of the finances as well, and plenty of resentment.

You want somewhere to start? Get a job, pay your share of the bills and your child support, and take your wife out for a nice evening out. And maybe get some counseling.

You're lucky your wife hasn't

You're lucky your wife hasn't bounced you butt out the front door(I would have) and that your ex isn't trying to have you tossed in jail.(I would)

Right now your butt is up shit's creek without a paddle. At this point, you don't have the luxury of finding the ideal job with the right salary. A minimum wage job doing something you hate is a million times better than what you have right now. Time to head out to fast food, retail....places and put in applications.

I can't believe you're complaining about going out when you aren't bringing any money into the house.

Quit whining. Get a job, ANY JOB. Pay your fucking child support. Grow up.