LOOONG ONE!
Ok, I need to vent, and I need to scream, and God knows I need a drink...

DH and I got into this HUGE fight last night, and I said it, "I am done, I want a divorce" and it took his breath away... but do I really? NO! I want his kid to go away, I am sick and tired of this self centered, mean, attention whore! I am tired of feeling torn, like an I evil, I have being insulted, ignored, and my children have being mistreated by this "child" since day one...she is 9 for crying out loud!!!! No limits, jealousy, lies, complains, I HATE IT! I HATE HER! I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE! How could this turn me into a sad, angry person! I am a professional, hard working woman, who adores her children...and I hate a 9 year old! WTF!!!

I have being working very hard to disengage, she is a liar, so no matter how nice or hard I worked, she always went home and told BM horrible things about us, so I said F this, you want to tell her mom I don't talk to you and I am mean? lets do it then! I don't care! BUT THE NAGGIN and the complaining, and the constant attention seeking behavior, and the noise, and the baby talk! ...

Last nite my DD6 had Ballet, and it was "open curtain" nigth, usually this day is a big deal because we get to see the progress but we don't get to see the recital dances, well, it happens to be the night SD is home for a few hours, so we all had to go, ok then... we get there, and SD9 starts to try to sit on DH's lap... mind you she is 110 pounds and 9 years old! not a baby, DH handles it and says "No BD, you are too big" "No I am not" (baby voice)... all this while other parents are trying to listen and watch the class... oooook...class is over, DD6 comes out with a candy cane they got from the teaches, and SD9 starts with a tamtrum because she didn't get one (AGAIN, my 5 year old son is right there, and he is totally cool about it) then SD9 goes on about how WE DIDN'T WENT TO HER RECITAL (wait what? we had to sit trough 4 hours of competition to see her dance ONCE, and her and her mom lied to us about the recital date so we missed it,, she knows this, she accepted lying to us) DH just whispers at her to stop it... all this is going on as I am trying to put coats on the little ones, and she hangs from DH leg winning, then she shoves my 5 year old out of the way so she can go first trough the door.... my blood was slowly boiling, I was tired, I had worked all day, and had to bake for an office potluck...

We get home, she shoves me and the kids out of her way, again, while DH is trying to open the door, she shoves him to the side, and she slams the door open, our little puppy was out (I got my DD and DS a Maltesse and he is tiny) she pushes the tiny dog out of her way, yells at him NO, and tosses a glove to his face.... I LOST MY SHIT. I said "SD9 go to your room in time out" "whyyyy i didnt do anything (crying ) " "DH talks to her in passive voice and says "just go" MIND YOU, if my children did this he would bark and yell at them!!! I hided in my room until they left... and cried, cried and cried... when he got home from dropping her off I was a mess, THANK JESUS my children went to bed without a fuss and were sleeping, because I just couldn't take it anymore... 2 years feel like 1000 and I am done! He blamed all on me because "I cant look pass who her mom is" "I ignore her" NO FUCKER! I have tried everything, while you have a "play mate" he doesn't raise this kid! he plays with her and watches Cartoons!!!

we woke up this morning and the house was very quiet, he was kind to the kids, but I have no idea were we are at... I hate her, and her mom, and the chaos they create in my life... I hate who I am now, and I dont know how to fix this!!!!!!