You are here

Another view point would be nice

Biomomof2's picture

So my court order states first half of Christmas break to mom on even years, half to dad. One kid has 2 weeks, one has three. So we go off shortest time.
I emailed BF because if you include Friday night and Overnight the last Sunday someone gets half a day more. I emailed BF with the dates this morning after court (by the way a waste of time, trail set for the end of Jan) anyways he responds with ill check the dates and get back to you. You don't tell me what to do. Well, I was offering either an extra overnight for him or just a straight week-Monday-Monday. Because I'm not a horrible person I emailed back, I have plans to make it takes Five minutes to look at a calendar. I get back this long email about due to me taking him to court, he will not be civil and he is busy, so he'll get to it when he can. I realized all my plans are hanging on what day to come back, and he wants to play games. No police department or court is going to have an issue with Holiday time exchange in the order (6pm) or straight Sunday night to the next Monday morning. 7 full days, 8 over nights. I have 7 full days but one school day so 9 overnights. He can play all the games he wants all day still no reply from the last time. I just shot him a nice email, explaining last year you picked the days you had, and still tried to call the cops. So, I'm picking this time. 2 weeks off school, you get the last week. They need to be home at 8am on this Monday for school. I get this email going on about how I wont tell him what to do, I'm not in control. I will wait until he looks it over. I called my attorney (should have done it at first but I still try to be desent) told Bf I have spoken with my attorney and YCPD. I'm not waiting to make my plans to come home here are the dates. Period. You get 1 week out of 2. They either come home or they are reported as kidnapped. Period.
Someone please tell me ... What is wrong with me? Why do I try to be a desent person when he just isn't? He has gone to the extent of telling my kids DH has gone to court over touching a little kid. My DH is a medic. He wouldn't have his license if that was true. I know better. I should have just sent one email. Kids holiday is x-x days. Split in half, I will drop them off at such time, they need to be home on this date at this time for BS to go to school. But no, 4 years later. The only thing I know is he hasn't changed who I am. He can't change. He is still an asshat but through it all he hasn't changed who I am. I just need to be smarter.

Comments

dogtac69's picture

He only is trying to get back at you. Keep your e-mails as short as possible. And as few as possible. You are not going to change him. Just try to keep your sanity.

Sports Fan's picture

DH used to do this with BM all the time. He kept trying to be reasonable and every time all it ended up with was a couple weeks of emails back and forth. I was finally able to convince him to stop trying. Just stick to the CO and use statements in emails. Don't try to have a conversation. It will be a lot less stressful.

Biomomof2's picture

Thanks everyone. I wasn't trying to be snarky at all. But it probably did come out that way. My final email and their will be nothing further from me stated simply
Christmas break dates xx-cc half is xx-xx. DS goes back to school on xx date needs to be at drop off at 8am on that date. Please see court order or contact my attorney with any questions.
It's the first and only email I should have sent.
Any BM or BF that responds with ill let you know with no time frame is making sure the other waits. BFs I'll let you know.. No response at all since he went off. He is making me wait so he thinks.
I have alway replied if I don't have an answer right then I will get back to you by xx date. But even still, I was wrong no matter why I worded it how I did. It should have given him no wiggle room, no debate even if he wants to try