He pays CS.....

Ummmmm..... I dont know. I dont think my DH is a very good dad. I think he was probably a "better" father before we moved in together. When the kids were over more and he was able to spend more time with them. But he still wasnt there for the whole visit, so I put an end to it. I dont care if your kids are teenagers, if they are here for a visit, then you need to be.

If they call and need something from him or need his help, he usually helps them out.

He is the dad that will fix their cars, help them move, etc.

I never saw DH as a dad when the skids were younger, so I dont know how he was then.

I know what I see now, I dont think he is a good dad.

If you ask the girl skids though they think DH is God as a dad. Which when I think about being a teenager/young adult girl and what I needed from my dad at that time or needed growing up, DH would be the exact opposite.

I'm thinking along the same lines as Zero today. He pays child support for SD.....other than that I don't think he's a very good dad to her. He thinks he is because he gives her whatever she wants and lets her do whatever she wants. It's all fun and games at Daddy's house.

My husband is actually a better dad to DD than he is to SD. It's annoying because he's such a guilty parent to SD, but he's more of a normal parent to DD. It's good for DD in the long run because she will turn out to be a decent human being while SD will always be a spoiled brat.

But I could see DD resenting him for it too, because he actually disciplines her and doesn't let her do whatever she wants like he does with SD.

he doesn't delegate parenting to anyone else. (only because I don't enable him.. trust me, he would if he could!)

he spends time with his children. (only when forced)

he helps them with homework.(HAHAHAHAHA!!See my blog on how wonderfully SD16 is doing in school)

he knows what's going on in their lives.(He knows what SD TELLS him... other than that he makes no effort to care)

he participates in their activities.(Depends on the kid... SD16 volleyball games, yes... anything BS4 has done so far NO.. because he has ME to do it)

he insists they treat everyone around them with respect (me included). (He is pretty good about manners and behavior, he does expect and enforce no sassing, so smart mouth etc)

So I'm thinking this makes my DH a super crappy parent.....I'm thinking I already knew this though....

My DH was not a good father. He thinks "parent" is a noun, not a verb, and as a result has adult kids who feel no deep emotional bond with him. They see him only as a wallet, and it's his own damn fault.

I will say that he has always presented a strong set of ethics & morals. He just couldn't be bothered with the pesky day to day hard work of rearing kids.

Oh my goodness, I could make this a very long post! Don't have time to make it complete but here are a few:

He's a million percent responsible. They are fed, clothed, entertained, edified, sheltered, healed, everything a little human needs all on his shoulders. His motto is always to do more than is asked or required or fair.

He engages with them on their level all the time. He knows each one inside and out (in spite of some rose colored glasses in one case!). He talks to them, plays with them, notes their development, their needs and strengths. He can and frequently does get them to laugh. He picks out little shows he thinks each one or both together will just love and at the same time introduces them to something new like a classic Harold Lloyd film or a cool science film (Tektaalik etc).

He plans activities for them, he takes them places.

He tucks the boy in at night and lays on the bed with him for a few quiet moments to get him calm for sleep (autistic). He has a teeth brushing ritual for this skid, too. It's cute.

Does their laundry. Keeps life calm and sweet for them. Provides well.

And he has humbled himself to listen both to his own family and to me when we have told him changes need to be made. I admire this so much, that he has been willing to swallow his pride and be open to learning he could do better.