We have SS8 part time (every other day)....and I will tell you--it is very overwhelming. A lot of back and forth, forgetting homework/projects at other house, unpacked lunch, tardy, pick up confusion especially on field trips. It is very frustrating especially for the stepparents who get the responsibility. The child suffers too because they will get tired going back and forth. It is good that the bio parents want to be involved in academics. My DH is the same way, but we have to be realistic. Children need a structured schedule(esp school routine) that will be easy for them to thrive and have a sense of belonging. Parents can always be a part of their child's academics by going to PTC meetings, volunteering, etc. It is really up to the parents as well where they think the child will have a better schedule.

Hope this helps!

We have had a split schedule for SS9 for almost 5 years. We also have my DD7 who is with us 90% of the time for the same 5 years. There is a dramatic difference. My daughter has a HOME, whereas SS9 "visits" both our home and BM's home.

BM has a string of people in and out of her home, displacing SS9, so he doesn't even get a bed in her home most times.

We have tried just agreeing to change the schedule so that it's week on, week off, but BM refuses to make ANY change for her son. She set up this stupid schedule, around HER work schedule, so she has him on her days off and we get him the other days. It's like she has a built in babysitter.

Of course, BM won't communicate, or compromise, so it's off to court we go. I just feel bad for the guy, he needs a home "base".

Formal studies have shown what 'aharris' above had discovered. Children who are on split schedules never feel like they have a home. They're constantly visiting and every move is just a few days away.

Rather than cut the problem with school attendance in half so that on Daddy's weeks she's timely and Mama's weeks she tardy Daddy should have a talk with the school authorities and then his attorney. He'll get the hard data from school, perhaps in writing, and have his attorney write the mother a letter. If the girl continues to have abnormal attendance figures (quote the school district's policy for instance) Daddy will have to consider asking for full time custody and child support from the mother.

The kid will be early every day from that day on. Nothing like the loss of child support and (HORRORS) having to actually PAY it to prompt Mama to think twice about what she's allowing.

My friend has three kids elementary age who stay with her Wed/Thurs and Dad Mon/Tues. Then they alternate the Fri thru Sun weekend. I asked her some weeks ago what is the downside to this, she said "I miss my kids when they aren't here."

Our neighbor also has this sked for his elem daughter. He seems to like it.

In both cases, the two households live just blocks apart. Don't know if that makes it work so well but interesting it's like that for both of these stories.

We are interested in this and have discussed it and for the same reason as op: both kids have ridiculous school issues on mom's watch.

Currently we have the kids Fri through Sun eve every single weekend. My DH also takes them out for homework on Tues evening. And I just started also picking up SS12 on Thurs afternoons to do his homework (and dinner.)

So Mom has very little school time she's really accountable for and still SD15 (who is extremely bright) already has an F in one class and assignments missing from another: she's been in school 8 days!

I like Orange's idea and would probably do it myself but so far DH and BM have avoided being confrontational at all costs.

*BM only has Mon and Wed homework to oversee. Except the trained para does Monday's for the younger child so it's really 1 1/2 days. She has a babysitter get them to school in the mornings but when Teen Girl misses the bus, BM calls in excused absences and lets her stay home all day!