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Just out of curiosity...

nikki_01's picture

Does anyone know how international custody would work?
Like...If I'm a US citizen and H is a Canadian....how do they decide who would get custody of our son?

...And would H smoking and buying weed be enough where the court would go "oh hell no" to the possibility of him getting custody?

Just curious.
"hypothetically"

Wink

nikki_01's picture

damn

nikki_01's picture

Yeah but the fact that i'd be taking him back to the states and staying with my parents until i can afford my own place, no career or big savings in order would look bad compared to his own ownership, job, and salary. I would have to have at LEAST a job lined up once I returned.

But at least I don't do drugs.

Or have to fork over 300 dollars a month to a baby momma.

just sayin.

Maxwell09's picture

I'm in the South and when DH took BM to court our lawyer pulled up pictures of her "boyfriend" (now babydaddy#2) with weed and it basically killed her case. She denied the relationship immediately even with Instagram post of her claiming him and then him with weed. The pictures got thrown out because of time stamp issues (damn you Instagram) but she lost because of it unofficially.

As for the jurisdiction...if it's intercity or state the judge usually kicks it to whichever court is where the child resides more than 50% of his time, I don't see how they could do that internationally. If I were you I would file in the states before he filed in Canada. If he's as broke as he should be paying the BM money then he won't like the cost of an international custody battle and you could probably get him to settle with every other holidays, each parent paying for the ticket one way, and then he gets the summer out of school in Canada and maybe spring break.

Indigo's picture

Hypothetically, I would come for a visit and skip the return trip. All physical things can always be shipped ... Is your child Canadian or American ? (My brother was born in France to American parents and held dual citizenship until he was 18 when he had to choose a nationality.)

BTW, here in the US, more and more states are legalizing pot even though it is still illegal on the federal level. A company in Oregon has just handrolled 1200 joints to sell on SuperBowl Sunday. Proud day.

Check out the legalities, but make a plan.

furkidsforme's picture

Ask an attorney what would happen if you went home to "visit" and simply failed to return. Sometimes it is easier to beg forgiveness than ask permission.

If you are a US citizen, I'm assuming (but I could be wrong) that your son has dual citizenship. Once you are back, DH might have a hard time coming after you. Depends on abandonment laws.

When my DH was getting divorced from his ex, she had threatened to take all the SKids to Florida and "never let him see them again". Of course, DH was in a panic. I was assuring him that he had legal rights and she could be jailed for that. But attorneys he spoke to said good luck with that, likely the courts would do little to her and he might get a little visitation court ordered here and there.

God I wish she had done that.

nikki_01's picture

oh and by the way, we live in Alberta where I'm PRETTY sure it's illegal.
And I was just recently made aware of this nasty habit when I smelled it in his car and then FOUND it in my highest cabinet (that I had to use a chair to get into).

Our son is dual citizen, and he's only 5 months, exclusively breastfed AND I spent the first 4 months alone with him in the us after he was born until H could fly us back. I can't imagine they'd give DH any type of full custody when I am the primary caregiver, and I'm in college so it's not like I don't have my head on straight (other than falling for a facade and marrying this jerk in the first place).

Yes, I would be able to provide money for a lawyer...and we would have a place to stay...I think there is a chance this could go how I want it if this actually happens.

I know it would be a huge battle though because we've got into an argument before I went home originally for my sons birth and he said "there's no way in hell I will ever let you take my son away from me"

....I mean, can't be that hard though, baby momma sure took her daughter away from him. lol

nikki_01's picture

I would LIKE to think I could end things on friendly terms with him and negotiate visits and such but I know he will be the least bit friendly if I decide to end this. Him and MIL put Bm and her parents through hell when they split up...I can only imagine what would be in store for me...

JacksGal's picture

Possession is 9/10th of the law. Move back home,you can say you only went back to work out details of the divorce and never intended to continue the marriage but he wouldn't agree to anything so off to court you go.