During course of her appointment the therapist always chats with me a few minutes before to see how DD has been etc. I told her she has done really well with her behavior chart the last couple of weeks while we were on vacation. I told her I was worried about when she went back to EXH though as he is usually gone almost the whole day due to to many business commitments. She aske me "well what did you expect" I was taken aback.... i asked what she meant she then said "isnt he self centered and everything about him all the time" I was speechless. She said "is that not why you divorced him?" I repied yes.

She then told me that she had him pegged the first day we brought DD in, by his attitude, the way he speaks, and how he lacks empathy for mine or our Daughters pain. She then educated me on life with a "high functioning NPD" and how sometimes they are the hardest for someone in a realationship to recognize because it is not "obvious". It absolutley left me speechless.... but everything fits.

So bottom line is not to expect him to change. That is his personality and until he recognizes the issue the best way to deal with him for me and our DD is for her to teach us the difference between his truths and our truths. She said i need to stop trying to cover and excuse away the fact that he is gone all the time and does not properly spend time that DD is craving with him. Instead I must comfort DD and tell her "im sorry he hurt you" when he breaks a promise or lets her down. She said I must let DD grieve the father that she has, one that is not present, and after she has grieved that, then she can realize that this is who her father is and feel special when they do things but not to have ANY expectations.

I am just heartbroken for her. My Exh is a small town corporate executive who recently bought a fairly large business venture and partnered with my sister on a smaller business venture. I used to say "he is stretched thin" but now I know that this is him fueling his need for self importance and status, with little regard to how it affects our children.

Currently we share 50/50 custody, but I am going to talk to him about modifying the schedule to where if he is not going to be home till late at night they just come stay with me. The therapist recommended this to me, she said DD12 is lonely at her dads and she does not need to be alone so much.

I am just so broken for my DD, and yet at the same time I feel validated for my reasons for leaving my marriage.