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I am miserable stepmom.

bianca's picture

Hi guys.I just join here in order to help me my feeling.I am married to my husband with 3 stepkids ages 18 (living in her dorm now) 14 he is living with us and 12 she's living with us too.my first 3 years living with them I gave them all my love and care,cooked them.and do their laundry .after I gave birth to my own daughter I stop doing laundry their clothes.everything was smooth by then.I have only 1 problem the 12 years old step kid I have is really hard to manage .she gave me miserable life ,to the extent I wanted to leave their dad.I already went home for a vacation last april because I told my husband I need rest so he allow me.this 12 yrs.old skid really hard headed she's disrespectful even to her dad and of course to me.one day she got mad and she called me idiot,your freaking out ,this is not your house.Yesterday was the very worse that happened .her dad arrived and she told her dad when I can get my shoes since youre always going to the mall and I respond to her oh yeah were going to the mall but im using my own money to buy my stuff just to let you know.then she told her dad oh bianca sreaming at me .when I heard I said that what and when I screamed at you?im not screaming at you now you are a liar accusing me of things that I didnt did.im about to call the police cuz I dont want her to invent stories which I didnt do.I want to give her a lesson that she cant do that to me.at the end my husband and I fight.what I did is throwing stuff cuz I am really angry to her.I end up crying the whole night and I told my husband I gonna leave him .I cant take it no more.it sucks and I dont have peace of mind.my life is really miserable ,unhapppy having them in my life.any comment ,do I need to stay my husband?how about this nasty stepdaughter I have?how I deal with it.need your help.

Comments

cfmommyof3's picture

If she lives with you and you are and active mother figure in your house to skids then I say your house your rules. Calling the police isn't going to do anything in this case. She is still young and the cops wont care about "family tiffs and lies". My skid is only 6 and I have a huge amount of issues but most have to do with BM. And DH not wanting to rock the boat for fear of BM going back to court and trying to take more time from him. I think a lot of issues could be solved if us SMs and our DHs could get on the same page. What is your situation with your BM? Does SD see her? How does she act at her house? Is this a new phase or has SD always treated you like this?

bianca's picture

Oh about BM im not talking to her I just saw her cuz my hubby told me dont trust her.she's back from the ship cus shes working in the ship so during weekends the skids is with her.she told negative comments about me but I dont care.my hubby is didnt see her if she drop the kids in her house thats all but no communication between hubby and her.everytime the skids come back in the house their attiude is getting worse.I dont know why.

cfmommyof3's picture

Well then your house your rules. Demand respect. Sounds like you are the main mother figure to these kids. She wants to blatantly lie like that to DH about you then fine she can be grounded for lying. If that doesn't work ground and then make it so she has to earn things back. Is she video game crazy like most kids? Acting spoiled? Take all that crap away and make her earn time with those things by being helpful and respectful. This is what we do with all our kids bio or skid....no lies aloud. We have kept at this for a few months now and at this point BS (almost 6) tells on himself about what happens in school! Its great!! Does DH back you up on things like this or just kind of say ehh whatever?

bianca's picture

Oh yeah they're both addicted to video games.I dont know how to deal my skids cuz even to their BD Theyre disrepectful.really hard headed .yes spoiled.I dont know the real issues of my skids cuz when I arrived here they're already like that.they wont listen to adults.and my husband called the police before cuz my skid daughter wont stop tantrums .4 hours of acting up .so hubby called the police.they dont care adults in the house.even a guidnace counselor in school.they make my life miserable I tell you that.the reason why hubby filed a divorce to exwife cus she always gamble no more time for her family.

princess_nena's picture

It's obvious you lack your husbands support, so now the only problem is no longer just the twelve year old. You have no need to put up with both of them. Just walk out. Your husband is not giving you your place the way he's supposed to! Now niether are you. Leave or send the kid away. The relationship should always be priority. Once children intervene to a degree that impairs your marriage...no, no dear. Out she goes, you have the right to be respected in your own house!