So let me give you a bit of background. I have 3 kids of my own and he has 2 kids all close in age. I have custody of my 3 kids (pending default judgment)and he has the typical custody given to men which is 1st, 3rd, 4th weekend and the thursday dinner date. Well, there mom hates me and their father and she resents that we are together. She told the kids that he has exchanged their kids for my kids. She also likes to include them in EVERYTHING that is discussed between them two. If he has any issues with things she does the kids know about it. The kids do not listen to him and have told him that there mom said that they did not have to. There are rules in my home. I punish my kids for bad behavior and believe in consequences for bad actions. However, i admit that there are occasions when I am soft and let them get away with no consequences if they dont clean their room or pick up their plate, i find that i have to repeat myself at times to get things done,, but in the end my kids do it. On the other hand, his kids never had structure and are demanding when they want things. They ALWAYS want to know what we are doing where we are going and who are we texting or talking to on the phone. if we go to the supermarket and we take long his kids want to know WHY we took too long. My kids dont do any of this. From the get go i taught my kids that adults are not questioned. Initially when I met them I was bothered by so many questions and he said they took after their mother who would always belittle him or not let him do anything without asking 100 questions. And so some of his kids behavior is understtod because it was learned through their mom but i told him that it was not something I would tolerate since it was not acceptable to be questioned all the time. And so some of this minimized but then what happened was that his kids began telling there mom EVERYTHING we did. Any conversation we had was quoted back by their mother and if he did something for my kids she would tell him that he was a bad father for not doing it for his kids. For example, all my kids have cell phones due to commute to and from school and when she found out she wanted him to get one for his daughter, and when he upgraded his phone my daughter got his phone and again that was thrown back at him. Yes, the kids told her EVERYTHING. And then they went back to court. He had so much eveidence against her psychological damage to the kids and the judge told him pretty much that he was too sensitive. So she lost one extra day of custody and he began to get fridays too on his weekends. Now, his 10 and 12 year old have instagram that their BM gave them and she refuses to allow him to "follow" them. When the kids added him she deleted him as soon as they returned to her. Now the kids refuse to add him and will not share their password so he can oversee what they do because they said their BM told them that he will use it in court like before and that they would take them away from her. So they refuse and he cant get them to share their password. They also do not call him during the week and when they are gone for 2 weeks in a row they maybe call once. The BM on the other hand demands that they call her every weekend they are with us for their as she call it "goodnight call". And they ask him everynight too "can we callmom?" it hurts him cause they dont even call him once a week. My SD has even texted him that she cannot call him and makes him promise her that he will not tell her BM that she called him because she would get mad. This past week we discovered when he tried to call his kids that the BM had blocked all his calls to his kids phone. So BM expects him to go through her to call his kids. Also he gives her 960 a month for 2 kids and the SS arrived this past weekend with hair so long it covered half his ear. the BM tells them she cant afford to cut their hair and so it is up dad to cut it. That upsets me because the SS expects him to take him but hello we give the BM so much money a month it is upsetting that BM cant even do that for her own kids. Also, the stepkids say that child support is for rent not for clothes and that he should buy them clothes and even complained that we always get my kids snacks for school but we dont buy them snacks for their school. HELLO!!! how can we if we again give their mom enough money for that. The BM has said that her kids are not safe with us and has done "welfare checks" The kids do not care what we say and i leave all the discipline to the father because i am afraid they will accuse me of "abuse" so i stay quiet. I have has enough. The kids see me as the eveil SM cause of the stuff their mom has told them and I have grown to hate them for how they treat their father and for hurting his feelings and making him cry all the time. He suffers and they dont care about him they treat him bad and they dont even acknowledge me. For example, i am serving breakfast and they ask their father to serve them or they ask their father to cook them something when I am already cooking. He tells me if i love him to give them time but it has been 2 years of this and things only get worse. He is now trying psychological services with this two kids to try and fix their relationship but she has refused and will only let him do it on his weekends. intakes are doing the week and BM said it is her time and that he cant pull them out of school. Also, he enrolled them in sports in our area and she refused to help pay for the gear or anything since HE signed them up and it was not discussed with her. HOWEVER, she demanded a schedule of the sports and said she has a right to be there ...BUT this CRAZY BITCH will not pay for anything not even a glove. HOW IS THAT FAIR!!!!! I took SD to buy everything and SD then told her father that she didnt even want to play that she wanted to play in her moms area. i am ready to end this. I cannot live with the constant fight i have with him because of the Stepchildren. i go to bed early when they are with us or i dont wanna go out because i feel we are rewarding them for so much bad behavior. i dont know what to do!!!! help!!!!