BIG step for BM, Still surprised....
Ok this weekend we had SS (our visitations wkend), and BM was not going to be able to have him for Halloween at all, since visitation starts Friday at 6, end Sunday at 6. She let us have SS the previous wkend for my BD's bday, but she wanted us to let her have him this last Friday so she could take him trick or treating.
We agreed. This last Friday during the day, it occured to us, that SHE should drop him off at our house. I know this seems like nothing, but BM has NEVER been to our home, she didnt even know where we lived until this past Friday. DH would try to tell her that she should know in case of any emergency, and she would ignore him and tell him she didnt need to know, as if it would bother her to see where we lived. We live in a pretty decent neighborhood, and actually OWN our home. She lives in housing. So im guessing it would be like a small stab at her to see where we live so "happily ever after."
Anyway, I told DH to make her drop him off if she wanted him. See, ok, this isnt me just being a bitch, theres a history here...
As per court order, we HAVE to drop him off at her home. When we told her we wouldnt and to meet us at PD after she assaulted me, she took the liberty to go to the police dept and assure that we HAD to go by court order, so we HAVE to take him to her home.
She tried telling us that we need to pick him up at her house when shes done doing whatever she did with him for Halloween, and DH told her that if she wanted him on HIS custody night, she was going to have to drop him off to us or she didnt get him...she actually AGREED!
we were suprised, we expected a whole argument or her just plain saying no, pick him up at 6 then... but she agreed.
She called around 9 asking where we lived, she got to our door holding ss, and as soon as DH opened the door, SS opened the door wide (giving BM full view of the house, which I caught her trying to catch her glimpse of) and ran inside to me and screamed "ma."
Normally it would have been an "in your face BM" moment, a victory to me! But I actually felt bad for her.
She just said, "bye SS," and SS didnt even turn to look at her.
I initially had done it with the intention of forcing her to see the life that we have, cause hers sucks. but the look on her face made me feel bad for her. She looked defeated. And I felt like I shouldnt have thrown it in her face how much of a better life ive made with DH that she couldnt...
but then... deep inside it all... its still an "IN YOUR FACE" moment...
I know its insignificant to anyone else that reads it, but to me it meant a lot, and im sorry if I wasted your time on this...
- Mommywood's blog
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Comments
I love this! I too feel
I love this! I too feel like, wait no, I know I live better than BM. And I take pride in the way I keep my house. I even find myself at times making sure I'm out pulling weeds, planting flowers or sweeping the porch when BM comes to pick us SD's. I want her to see how nice SD's live when they are with us. I've even invited her in before when it's cold outside...oh the love of watching her sit there, in my clean house, so uncomfortable...it's priceless! Then she has to go home to 6 kids and three shedding dogs!
I love the "in your face" moments - always have, always will! More power to ya girl!!
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If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.
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I think it's GREAT. She is
I think it's GREAT. She is a lousy BM and she deserve an "in your face" moment!! Score one for the good guys.
At first, I felt bad for
At first, I felt bad for your son's BM too. But after thinking about it, I've changed my mind. I remember your blog regarding the fight that happened. That fight negates any bad feelings you have for her seeing your home. Be proud of what you and DH have built together.
see, thats how i feel... ill
see, thats how i feel... ill go through a rollercoaster of pity for her because I feel like I did take it all away from her, and now im throwing it in her face, but she does the dumbest, rudest things, with no consideration for her son. and that negates my pity for her.
When we got into an argument once, she called me a "fat bitch"-- mind you i was 8 MONTHS Pregnant, and her friend started telling me how DH would still be with her if he hadnt knocked me up and felt the responsibility to be with me, I flipped, and I started to tell her how its funny that DH didnt feel that responsibility to her when she had his kid and just straight up dumped her ass-- he actually stayed & married me. I also went on to mock her about the fact that she would call him every night drunk and crying that she loved him, and texting him things, and I told her I laughed my ass off listening to all her begging to DH after he left her.
Yes... im a terrible person.... But the bitch NEVER called me fat again!!!
I have always felt soooo guilty for telling her all of that because thats me mocking someone elses heartache. He left her on her ass (not SS, SS is well taken care of and knows who his father is), but he really just straight up left her when she though he would stay forever and take her attitude cause she had his baby. Ive always felt like I owe her an apology for being that mean to her and throwing her feelings in her face like that. She really did love DH but was just not woman or mother enough for him. Anyway, just venting.