or am I just daydreaming? I've posted before about me not living with BF of 4 years due to the kids and the fact that I have 2 senior dogs to take care of and BF does not have a fence around his property. I also refuse to give up everything that I own and work for in my own house to move into someone else's as a roommate, particularly when I have no say over anything re: the kids.

I've just been so sad lately because I'm lonely and really feel like my relationship is a casual dating one instead of a committed relationship that progresses along as it gets longer. My BF will not stay at my house for multiple reasons, which is fine but I can't really spend a lot of time at his house either as I do have my dogs to take care of. My daughter is 20 years old and does watch the dogs for me here and there as needed, but that is just to let them out and feed them and if anyone knows dogs, they are pack animals and not like a cat that you can just throw them food and water and ignore 24/7. I think in the 4 years that we've been together, with the exception of vacations, we have most likely slept in the same bed all night about a dozen times.

I'm really trying to figure out a way to make this work, but our relationship really is on it's last legs and I'm scared. BF is supposedly working on getting a fence as it is also required by his insurance company for pool regulations, but who knows when that will be....and even then, if I was able to spend a few days here and there with him, would that really be enough? I can't be there when the kids are there because he babies them and it makes my skin crawl! BF says he loves me and doesn't want to break up either, but then again, he isn't willing to change the way he does anything either. To give him the benefit of the doubt, he does make time for us even when he has the kids to go out to dinner and go shopping alone while they stay at home, but thats about the extent of his efforts. I also really worry about how happy I will be in the long run as when my dogs are no longer with me and my daughter is older and moved out, I have an empty nest and can go and do whatever I want whereas BF will still be bogged down with kids...albeit teenagers at that point, but still won't move away, downsize into a condo for instance, etc.

I'm just trying to rack my brain to find a way to make this work, but I'm out of ideas. Is really going to stay at the BFs house for a few days here and there enough to save a relationship? I don't know. Just thinking of the idea of not being with him, being able to talk to him on a daily basis and even having the least bit of interest in another man (or him in another woman) makes me nauseated!

Any thoughts?