Maybe she is sending them over as gifts from the skids for your son. They might want to give the baby something since it is their half sibling. When your child gets older and if she is still sending gifts over, tell your child they are from his half siblings.

Well.....anyone who's ever read anything of mine can tell ya........I know all about this mess!

BM insisted on buying things for my daughter. Finally, I took CG's advice and just started giving the gifts to goodwill. I didn't trash them anymore, or tell her to stop anymore as that only made her do it more, nothing, I just took it, smiled, said thanks, and the next day someone got it at half off from goodwill!

If you are not comfortable with it you don't have to accept it. Well, accept it maybe, but you don't have to give it to your child. This is YOUR child. If your SKids go over there with something you've given them she probably trashes it while she's calling you every name in the book! LOL!

I agree with Totaly. I wouldn't make much of a deal out of it. If you do you will come across as ungrateful and spiteful no matter what she has done.
BM and I barely talk. But we acknowledge each other's children. Its not their fault they are stuck in this "blended" situation.

My ex and I were together for many years and I had bought for his nieces and nephews while we were together. After splitting I continued to buy for them being they expected it, but I put they were from my BS. I never put from me after the split, which was when my BS was 9mo old. My ex was married when BS was 4 and the first Christmas after he married I still bought the gifts. I never dreamed it would affect his wife, but it did. Once I found out I never over stepped my bounds again and she bought for them after that. It was a thing that I had done for atleast 10 years at that point and it was a habit. I can see where you feel uncomfortable because I would not want my ex's wife purchasing gifts for my children that I have with DH. But, like you said if you raise a stink about the issue it will be one more thing to deal with. I would just take the gift to goodwill as recommended above. My ex, his wife, myself and my DH get along fine. We have communication that concerns my BS and that is it. We each know and understand we have our own lives to lead and that we stay out of the others unless it concerns BS. But, BS is almost 13 so we are fortunate. We had a rough start with petty things, but everyone has grown up and realized where the boundaries lie.

I would accept the gifts with grace. Im sure she is just trying to be nice on the holidays. I would not look into to much. You still have control over yours sons relationship with her and no amount of gifts will change that.

If you dont accept the gifts Im sure the teenage boys may feel funny about it and it will put them in an awkward situation. You will look petty.

She is giving them to the child, not you...

not to mention, it would be super foolish to refuse something nice someone is doing for your kids.

I accept and will send over a Christmas gift for BMs newborn. She sends it with SD, I will do the same.

I appreciate the gesture, I hope she does too.

I don't know if i would be upset...... We purchased BM a christmas gift last year... and gave it to her when we pick SD up for the holiday. Although she was supposed to meet us 1/2 way - as we live almost 4 hours away....... she didn't and went against the court order.

So i told DH since she apparently hates us so much and does things in front of SD that lets SD know that she hates us - we will be the ones who rise above the foolishness.

We gave BM a christmas gift - not expensive - some houseshoes that warmed up - in front of SD when we picked her up and told BM Merry Christmas from us.

Got SD and left - Now she may have thrown it away - but at least SD saw that we don't treat her mom bad.

********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************

Accept the gifts with grace and use it as an opportunity, as he grows up, to be thankful that someone cares about you, even if you don't like her. It would be far worse if she was giving them directly to him outside of your presence - that would speak of manipulation. Of course, as the parent, you can always refuse a gift or regift it if it is, for any reason, not appropriate for your son.

well i am not sure what to suggest, i like you would not want to take the gifts. but as others piont out i think it might be our own issues, and its not our gift. i was thinking it might matter what she puts on the card, i know a 2 year old cant read but it gives you some idea of her intent. like if it said aunt so and so, i wouldnt accept it, if it said just her name i might add the half siblings name, if no name i would say it came from the half siblings, if it said all of them i would give it to my child but genetly suggest it was from the half siblings. if its christmas you might say it from santa if you believe in that stuff. any way i dont blame you for being nervous i wouldnt want my kids if i had any to have a relationship at all with my husbands ex.

I would have to say that I agree with steve....BM's are part of our extended family when we married our DH's. That doesn't mean we have to like them. But when she makes an attempt of kindness to your kid/s, it should be accepted. You may not like it, but think about how the kids would react if they see mommy flipping out over a simple gift. You don't have to say it is only from her, tell your child it is from the skids too. I mean, we are on here constantly complaining about the BM's in our life....but when something semi good happens...we react as if BM is trying to make our children think she is their BM too. She isn't. I can say this because for the last 10+ years, myself & the BM I deal with, have given each others Bkids (not the Skids we share) a birthday gift or Christmas gift. It doesn't happen all the time, but when we can afford it, it does. Because the kids didn't ask for this type of lifestyle, we choose it for them. So, I think you need to put the claws away and over look this simple gesture of kindness. JMO

I think it really depends on the situation and how everything is between households. Personally, I won't accept a thing from BM. But it stems from years and years of everything SD got at holidays, etc from our house BM would rip it to shreds. Now SD can't take anything to her BM's house, because we know it will be busted all to hell.

I had the cutest bath robe when DH and I hooked up. I love pink, and of course it was pink. SD sneaked it into her bad one day.......can you guess what happened next? Yep, I never saw that bath robe again, she apparently took it into the back yard, cut it up into small peices, and let it out there for a few months before cleaning it up. Per SD, that is.

So for her to give my daughter anything is just ridiculous. I still can't give my SD anything, why in the crap would I accept a gift from her to my baby?

Just me, and just how I roll, but in this situation no way in hell. If the situation were different I would love her for it.........but to accept it would be like accepting a lie.