Don't ya just love it. That's what CS is for. I have to give you credit too. I would very much mind being expected to foot the bill. Pun intended.

I don't think i would mind buying them if they were necessary..... But she should have called herself to explain the need or at least ask. Geez grow up.

Kids should not be used as messengers.

********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************

NO WAY! i would put the kibosh an that crap asap....... it's not that you mind or don't mind -- it's her kid and her "financial" responsibility ----- knowing fh is currently unemployed --- it is totally disrespectful for her to ask you to foot 1/2 the bills for extracurricular activities she picks out.........not to mention has she no dignity??? really asking another woman to support her child..... or is she just trying to humiliate fh?? what a bitch!

I go through this with my ex and his wife too. My BD14 lives with them and they send "lists" and requests through her ALL the time to ask me to pay for things. I don't pay CS because I am supporting our BS19 as he goes through college. I've asked my ex repeatedly to "man up" and ask me directly if he needs something. They went so far once as to have my daughter call me and tell me that she had a school dance but they said she couldn't go if I didn't buy the dress. I didn't have the money but I agreed to buy the dress. The next week, BD calls and says SM bought her TWO dresses. It's just a mind control game and I don't play it anymore. If BD asks me for something I now tell her "Your Dad can call me and ask me and he and I will discuss it. You should not be worrying about the financial needs. That's your parents job." Of course, he doesn't call and ask but I don't feel guilty about not helping anymore. I personally would tell BM that in the future if she needs financial assistance with SD to please call and ask herself and not involve SD. Probably won't do any good, but at least you tried.

Our BM tried to pull this...and same as you I have no problem buying Scooty (SD5) stuff. But bottom line, in most states your income isn't/can't be included. Our BM tries to pull "i'm having money issues, and i'm having to pay my bills all by myself" all the time! Honey, this is what CS is for, and i'm sorry you've screwed over every relationship and you're stuck paying bills by yourself...but from the courts point of view my fiance is the only one paying his bills and CS...not me! (of course I buy Scooty stuff...I just make sure it never goes back to mom's house! }:) )

"Live well, Love much, Laugh often."

We were in a similar situation as you. BM lost her job, Sd comes one weekend and tells my dh, oh you have to buy me school supplies, winter jacket etc..etc because mom doens't have a job and both you guys do. My dh's response: 1. I pay CS, so your mom has the money, so never ask me again about purchasing things for you. 2. She is married to a man , does he work, if he doesn't ,not my problem. 3. Your mom can go out and get a job. 4. remember, i pay CS and that is what its there for. Its for you to buy things that are needed.
Well, next visit...she had her new winter jacket bought by mom:)
Its a cop out when someone does this and its also a very controlign thing to do to another person. The damage is done because you already bought her what she needed....BUT i understand why you do it, caus eyou dont want any negativity and since no CS is being issued....BUT you are not financially responsible and i think you should have told sd upfront, sorry its up to your mom to buy those things and when your dad gets a job he can reimburse her then. Tell your mom to keep the bill.....
That's waht i would have done.
Now bm is no longer married. I'm sure she'll being pulling stunts like this again. Even medical bills she tried but the divorce decree clearly stated that as long as she keeps a job, then she is fully responsible for that bill. ANything extra, shell have to go to court for it. and that costs Moula!!! at least 6-7 thousand in court costs , plus its now a 2-3 year waiting list for this. By that time, CS will have to be reduced as well....