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Do I point it out?

Newimprvmodel's picture

Submitted by Newimprvmodel on Thu, 01/30/2014 - 3:28pm

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Adult Stepchildren

So dh's daughter is abroad for the semester. Without rehashing, dh has zippo contact. I have found the facebook page of the organization she is studying with, and it is clear to me, that frequent pictures are posted and essentially one can see the trips, etc that the group is doing. So today the first pics of the group were posted and his daughter is in several of them. She looks very different from 4 years ago..
I guess I am ambivalent as to whether I should enlighten dh about this site. He would be able to see pics of her semester, but would this be more hurtful? I am tempted to just let it be...........not show him the page, but is this wrong? I admit........I will certainly look back........it is weird to have essential strangers have so much influence in my life, so I am curious about his daughters.

kathc's picture

Submitted by kathc on Thu, 01/30/2014 - 3:49pm

Let it be to the point of you stop looking, too. That way you never end up accidentally leaving it open or mentioning it and you can claim you know nothing if he finds it on his own (or through a "well meaning" friend who finds it)

Newimprvmodel's picture

Submitted by Newimprvmodel on Thu, 01/30/2014 - 6:12pm

I have come to this conclusion on my drive home. Out of sight....out of mind.....
Why do her any favors?
I am reading a book by john Grisham called sycamore row........very interesting....about a man who leaves nothing to his grown children, and the fight that ensues......
If I survive dh, I look forward to kicking dh's daughters' asses!! Lol

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

Submitted by 20YearsAsAStep-Mom on Thu, 01/30/2014 - 5:25pm

I concur, don't mention it or look again. Try to let it go. I know it's hard, but the more you try the more hope there is.

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Thu, 01/30/2014 - 5:25pm

If he's curious enough to learn what his daughter's trip is all about and photos of it, he'll find the site in the same manner you did. You were curious enough (for whatever reason, and the reason doesn't matter) to look and find it all on your own...so can he.

If he does happen to bring the subject up about his daughter and her travels in a way that gives the impression he's actually interested, you can mention perhaps he could learn something online , then let it go. You don't have to tell him you've already looked or even that there is indeed a site. His daughter. If he's interested enough, he'll figure it out. There's a chance he's already done so and saw exactly what you have (or will soon) and just not mention he has to you.

You're under no obligation to keep track with news of his daughter. It's on him.