So here is the background. My SS BM was arrested over the weekend. Apparently she stole her BF truck, all his guns, coin collections etc etc and took off with SS. BM and SS has been living with BF (though she denies). Then the next day she shows back up at BF house with SS sans truck. BF had already called and reported everything stolen, BF loaded BM and SS up and took them to the county sherriff for questioning. They end up throwing her ass in Jail. My DH about this time gets a text from an unknown number "Call slacker county sherriffs office ASAP! Your son is there now!" WTH!! My DH panics and calls slacker county sherriff. By this time BM has been booked and she signed permission for BF to take SS. DH rushes home gets parenting plan and calls BGF who is a major enabler. We end up picking up SS from BF house with out problems. The whole time BF is telling us about everything that happened and how his friend beat her ass, and how he took her to jail and shes never coming home....etc etc etc. Loaded up a trashbag full of SS clothes and filled the trunk with Toys and told BF we would get with him to pick the rest of SS stuff up later (yeah sure BM you werent living there).

Get ahold of lawyer she will call GAL on Monday. Well come Sunday evening BM gets out on Bond and has 3 felony charges now listed.....in addition to a pending forgery for signing my DH name on a finacial responsibility form. We expect her to contact us as my DH only has him every 1st and 3rd weekend and 1 evening a week for 2 hours.....crickets.....nothing. In the meantime my SS9 seems to be doing fine just keeps saying "I just wish I knew why she did it". He explained to us what happened when they left, mind you she was driving a stolen truck with thier child with no drivers license. Well they stayed at some guys house that he never met before....and the next am they got up and drove to meet some other guy he did not know. Then his mom had him ride with this random guy he didnt know and then the son watches her wreck the truck.....and on purpose!!! He told the school counselor on monday he was not worried about his mom during the wreck because she meant to do it.....wtf???

Well DH let the school know what was going on when he took him to school on Monday, and told them he thought BM would show up to pick him up from school but was not sure, that he would be there regardless so he could show BM how to use the new maintence inhaler that was prescribed since when she up and got arrested noone knew where his other was at. So DH gets there just before school lets out and BM is there with her BF!!! The man who had her arrested and thrown in jail, and who she told police she was running from because he was a drug dealer (BF told us that is what the police said she was claiming). So now she shows up with him 2 days later to pick up SS. DH was freaking out on the inside but kept calm and collected.

The principle arranged having SS picked up in counselors office that day so the conversation would be witnessed between school officials etc. DH explained to BM how to use new inhaler, then DH stated he was just going to say goodbye and give SS a kiss.....BM states no hold on....then fumbles around.....DH asks if SS is going with him.....BM states not sure "we will play it day by day" I would like to talk to SS alone. So they leave and let BM talk to SS and then when she calls them back in she says "ss" has decided he wants to go stay at grandpas (where he is supposed to be living). They say goodbye and BM leaves with SS.....DH Counselor and principle are all standing there confused at the really weird interaction. Counselor then points out BM weight is next to nothing and she has sores on her hands and arms and by her hips that it reminds her of someone on meth. DH then leaves and on the 1 hour drive back home about halfway back come up on BM BF and SS.....BM turned around a few times and finally about 5 min later turned off the road. They were nowhere near BGF house where "he wanted to stay". They were heading in the direction of BF house and Our house which is about 15 min from each other. And yes they drive him to school 45 min every day to keep us from finding out she has moved.

Later that night find out from Lawyer that GAL will not support and emergency transfer of custody unless she is incarcerated. So today the GAL is supposed to talk to BM attorney and let him know she is recommending Drug Testing by each party by Friday at 2pm. Then if BM doesnt show see if she can push her lawyer to take the plan we have on the table because her recommendation will be harsher, GAL is also recommending psychological evaluation.

So today DH gets a text that BM is taking him to a counselor and will let him know the details later.....now it could be that she is totally lying as she does frequently to cover for the fact that he is not in school at all today!!. I have this wierd feeling that with her felony charges....screwing up majorly during a custody modification....and her wierd "Play it day by day" reply that she may be planning to run. She threatened that during the divorce all the time and he is afraid that she just may be crazy and desperate enough to do it now.

I am so scared and anxious....I need advice on how to cope....so I can stay strong and supportive for my DH. And please dont say disengage...my DH is a wonderful partner who puts our marriage above all else and I have known him for 14 years and we got married last year. I have also known BM for almost as long and SS since he was born...my life is entangled with theres almost as much as it would be if he was my own child....so disengagement not an option. Thanks for the advice!!