I feel like I'm slowly fading...
I feel so helpless...Its been about a week since I last posted. Where do I begin?
Last week was my SS14 birthday and it went well, considering I really didn't have to deal with him. My in-laws are great and I always have a good time with them. My SS14 looked absolutely miserable all night and said that it was the worst birthday ever. I really don't know why and I didn't ask...I didn't care nor did I want to know. It was probably something completely rediculous.
That weekend he spent it with his BM (by the way he's been spending every weekend with her for a month now)She's been the light of his life. She can do no wrong and he defends her tooth and nail. Normally he hates going there and she constantly stands him up and we're left to pick up the pieces. There's something going on and I can't put my finger on it.
Well for the past three weeks there isn't a day that goes by where he and I or FH and I or FH and SS14 have a fight. It's mostly SS14 and I fighting. I'm so exhausted I'm behind on my school work and my FH and I can not even spend anytime together with out arguing about this situation! ugh...what do I do?
I'm making an appointment with a counselor this week and if they don't go...I definitely need the counseling. I feel like there is no hope. Why does SS14 want to live here if he hates it and we can nver do anything right? Why doesn't he move in with his mother? I thougt having him here would be better for him and it was, it was great, we got along fantastically he even asked when would it be ok for him to call me "mom" then one day BM decided to play nice and now he's all messed up again. I think she has something up her sleeve, I don't know what it is but when this all blows over SS14 will be hurt and then he'll be fine with us again...but Why does this have to happen? I feel like she live with me through him!
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