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I'm exhausted...

hopeful_sm's picture

Submitted by hopeful_sm on Fri, 10/02/2009 - 2:02pm

We've decided to go to counseling...I'm so exhausted. It's SS14 birthday party today and I'm not up for it. I'm so tired of fighting. I told my FH that we need counseling, because I don't want to live like this anymore...he agreed, but I can see the sadness in his eyes. He wants me to be stronger and be able to handle this without counseling, but I can't. I've barely slept this week and I'm so not up to do this party. I'm really only staying at my house for my FH. I hate feeling like this, but I don't want to even see SS14.
I can totally see it, I'm going to host this party and he's going to act like nothing is wrong, like everything is ok and it's not. He won't even know why I'm upset. So I have to put a smile on my face because it's his birthday and I don't want to be the downer at the party....ugh...so tired Sad

Comments

PnutButta's picture

Submitted by PnutButta on Fri, 10/02/2009 - 3:11pm

It's good that you are going to counseling...and DH will eventually see the benefits too. He can't know how you feel because he's not you. He may want you to be stronger, but kudos for you for admitting that you need help.

I think as women we sometimes feel guilty about asking for help, especially when it comes to our families and kids. We are supposed to be born homemakers and able to hold the weight of the world on our shoulders without so much as blinking. Then add to that the stress of a blended family...ugh. We are not perfect, we do need help sometimes, and your family will be better off for getting the obvious help it needs.

Stay strong. If you don't feel like going to the party, then maybe you shouldn't go. That would be your right.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on." ~Robert Frost

Pantera's picture

Submitted by Pantera on Fri, 10/02/2009 - 3:49pm

Is this party going to have red cups? Red cups are my savior, just but a little rum in your soda and wa la, instant happiness, lol, just kidding. On a more serious note, I hate the pretending we do to make everyone else happy. It really will wear on you. It is good that your DH is willing to go to counseling. Hang in there. If I were you, I would let DH do the hosting. Try to have a good night.