It's been a constant battle between DH and BM since they divorced seven years ago. They are on total opposite ends of the map as to how the kids should be brought up, but that's not anything that can't be worked out. However, BM is so completely convinced that her way should be THE way and that DH is just being an asshole and control freak that the kids are in constant turmoil.

At our house, they are expected to pick up their own messes (their ages are 13, 12, and 9 BTW--more than old enough to do so), take care of the animals, and generally help around the house. Not unreasonable. We really ask very little from them, and we do not allow disrespect and back-talk.

At BM's house, they are allowed to be piggish and do whatever the wish, back-talking and sassing is OK and even encouraged, and they make their own choices on big decisions that should be discussed amongst adults. They are allowed to "be their own person".

Enough.

I'm guilty; I keep an eye on her blog and Facebook page. Spying on her, being the "evil stepmother" to protect our home, my husband, and my own heart. This morning, she made a rather lengthy entry about how everything is a power struggle and DH is trying to control everything. And supposedly the kids are afraid to tell him anything and are angry with him for saying the dreaded N word..."NO".

I offer a couple corrections to her misinformative rant:

1. The only power struggle is hers. He lets her have a lot of things her way (too many things IMO).

2. If he says "No" to some extracurricular activity on weekends, there's always a reason why. Usually because we had already made plans.

3. The kids seem angry at him (to her anyway...they can't seem to stop talking to him at our house) because he said no, so they go and whine to her about it. They play her like a fiddle, and she bites the bait EVERY TIME. They are clearly not "afraid to tell him anything"...they never shut up!

It's beyond ridiculous. DH asks for my thoughts when stuff goes down, and I tell him exactly what's on my mind (a controlling man wouldn't do that--my ex was controlling). The most recent blow up (which was the cause of the most recent blog post by BM) was because she sent DH an email stating that one of the teachers at the middle school is planning a trip to Germany in 2015. She wants to take all the kids. He told her no, because he did not feel that they were old enough (left out the fact that he doesn't trust that she will keep them safe).

The shitteth hitteth the fan after that. A bunch of nasty emails saying that he owes her an explanation, and now this blog entry. I finally told DH that he needs to put a stop to it because it's getting worse by the minute. I'm afraid that this mess may end up in court again. I wish it were done already.