This is our week with SD6. Today after school she was bussed to the center where her mom works for her gymnastics class.

BM3 dropped her off about 5:30, and said "Well I looked at her folder just because I was curious, and it turns out she had trouble meeting expectations at school today, but I thought maybe it was because she was under the weather and not feeling up to paying attention. I'm not making excuses for her but.....(um, yes, you are, that's exactly what you just did).....so I went ahead and let her participate in gymnastics today because she DID feel up to doing THAT."

Of course DH was outside at the time, so I said, "Well, I was initially leery of having her bussed there because then I don't have the opportunity to look at her folder or talk to her teacher BEFORE she gets on the bus to go to gymnastics, so perhaps it would be better if I pick her up at school and have a chat about how her behavior was that day before she goes to gym."

BM said "Well, I can always just look at her folder when she gets here, and if she didn't meet expectations at school, I can just leave and bring her back home."

Um, yeah, you COULD, but we all know you won't because you don't believe in consequences or expectations. This is why you are living at your dad's house at 35 years of age. NEVER in her life has she had to deal with any of the negative consequences of her actions. I don't care if she lives there forever, but I don't want SD6 to be dependent on everyone else because that's the example her mom sets for her. I don't understand why parents are resistant to teaching their young children consequences. Don't they realize that if they don't do it now, someone else will, when they are much older and have so much more to lose?

I talked to DH about it and he agreed 100%. What will he actually do about it? Absolutely nothing. Joke is not on this stepmom, though. The joke will be on DH and BM3 when SD6 is an adult, because once BM3's dad is gone, she will be up shit creek without a paddle, and SD6 CANNOT come home here, either. She will have to fall flat on her face and figure out how to pull herself up by her boot straps on her own. I'm not taking any further responsibility for how she turns out. I told DH tonight that I'm done taking the kid to therapy because unless BM3 participates in the therapy, it doesn't do any good. The problem is coming from BM3 and her lack of boundaries, expectations, and consequences during her parenting time.

Oh well. Not my kid, no longer my problem.