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Thank you, ladies...(and Draco)

WickedStepMom18's picture

Submitted by WickedStepMom18 on Tue, 10/01/2013 - 3:50pm

I have been on this site for years. It was a place to come when I couldn't find comfort or sanity in my step-life. I posted some blogs (took them down because I am slightly paranoid!) but found such strength reading what everyone else had to say. I am writing to tell you that I finally stood up for myself and decided that I had to take a step back and remove myself from the situation I was in for 11 years. I will miss my ex-SO and his son (formerly SS14 - makes me cry saying "formerly") and love them forever but the situation just became so unhealthy. Being a back-burner family member, a second class citizen, an afterthought became too much especially when I put them above everything in my life. Never good enough to be a wife or mother but good enough to carry their burdens for them and the BM. Lots of love to everyone on here for helping me come to this decision, for the support you had no idea you were giving me. I will probably never date another man with children and now that I am 35, perhaps never have any of my own. But, I will be happy and not taken for granted. Thank you, everyone. I wish you all the best in life because you all deserve it.

Comments

Justme54's picture

Submitted by Justme54 on Tue, 10/01/2013 - 4:10pm

WOW! You were in a relationship since the age of 24...so young and still so young. May I ask...what was the last straw?

HUGS and BEST WISHES!!

WickedStepMom18's picture

Submitted by WickedStepMom18 on Wed, 10/02/2013 - 4:35am

Justme - I don't think there was a last straw. It was a long time coming and after realizing I had the strength within me to make the break, I went for it. It took a whole year for us to actually separate. For that year, my heart questioned my decision, constantly fighting my head. But I pushed through those feelings towards freedom. I am not sure ex-SO ever knew the prison I was in. Rather than hate him for the time I "lost", I chose to look at it as the journey I had to take to get me here. I couldn't hate him for not being what I wanted/needed him to be. He wasn't capable. Thank you for saying I am still so young! Wink Thanks for the hugs too!

isthisforme123's picture

Submitted by isthisforme123 on Tue, 10/01/2013 - 4:39pm

35 is young. You've got to get out of the wrong relationship to find the right one. I know its sad, but my guess is once you find the right guy you will wonder why you spent so long with the last one! Best of luck on what is to come!

WickedStepMom18's picture

Submitted by WickedStepMom18 on Wed, 10/02/2013 - 4:41am

isthisforme - Thank you! You are so right. We'll see what the future holds as far as the next guy. I was at my doctor's office yesterday and said something to the nurse about being nervous. She said, "Honey - you are way too pretty to be stuck on the couch! Get out there!" I laughed so hard. That's her opinion!! For now - it's me and my doggie. He gives me kisses and cuddles whenever I need them. Thank you for you words. Wink

WickedStepMom18's picture

Submitted by WickedStepMom18 on Wed, 10/02/2013 - 4:45am

NoDoormat - Thank you for the pearls of wisdom. It's true - each day is a little easier. I won't count myself out yet - it's just hard to see it actually happening when it hasn't for so long! I'll keep on keeping on. My doggie thinks he has the best mama. Maybe my babies are just going to be four-legged ones. Wink

WickedStepMom18's picture

Submitted by WickedStepMom18 on Wed, 10/02/2013 - 4:50am

That is AWESOME! Great news for me (and how wonderful for your sister!). Now I just have to find a stud... Dirol Thanks, notthemomma. I love this site. You girls are the best!!!

LuckyGirl's picture

Submitted by LuckyGirl on Wed, 10/02/2013 - 1:34am

I'm 34 and just had my first baby a few months ago... Life has a way of surprising you so don't give up on the children front Smile

WickedStepMom18's picture

Submitted by WickedStepMom18 on Wed, 10/02/2013 - 4:58am

LuckyGirl - that is amazing news! Congratulations!!! My BFF just had her first. She and I were born a day apart! I (kind of) resigned myself to the fact that my babies have four legs after realizing that ex-SO's baby-talk was just talk. So, emotionally, I kind of dealt with not being a mama. I guess if the right person comes along, we'll see. (BTW - he has to get by my four-legged baby who would gladly eat any man who walks in my door!) I told my brother than I appreciated him and his incredible wife having children for me. I have two nieces and a nephew I could just eat, I love them so much! Such cutie-pies! Thanks for the inspiration and enjoy your little one!