Freaking out over a cell phone
BM has stupidly decided to give SS9 an iPhone. Personally I think 9 is way too young for a cell phone especially one that is connected to the internet and has a camera. I am freaking out over this. I am a very private person and and I like to have my privacy and not have my house or my stuff broadcasted all over the world. SS is very immature for his age. He is 9 but behaves like a 5 year old at most. He is very sneaky and manipulative, but also very sweet and helpful. BM has not set up the phone with a phone or data plan yet, but she is looking into that. Right now SS would only be able to play games and connect to the WIFI in our house to Skype or go on the internet. I'm just wondering if you all think I am being too harsh in not giving SS the Internet password so that he's only able to play games and not do anything else with the phone. BM has asked me to tell her if I think giving the phone to him is a bad idea, so far I haven't said anything about it to her yet, I don't want to step on her toes. Obviously he is her son, but he does live FT with us.
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I'd be collecting the phone
I'd be collecting the phone and advising him he can use it at Moms house since she gave it to him. Lock it away and call it done.
My teen skids to not have unlimited, uncensored/supervised access to the internet.
DH should be having that
DH should be having that conversation with her. If he lives full time with you, then you certainly have a say in what electronic devices are brought in to the home. We just got both of our 10 YO's iPhones. They have rules, and they abide by them. It depends on the kid I suppose.
DH doesn't really care if the
DH doesn't really care if the phone is just for games but he's not too keen about SS having access to the internet all the time. But DH is also VERY passive and easy going so he probably wouldn't do much about this. He usually just agrees with whatever I say. He did say he would say something to BM about this, but hasn't yet.
My SS15 bought himself an
My SS15 bought himself an iphone 4 with his dad's permission. I don't allow the kids to have facebook accounts because they abused them to skirt the text limits on their phones, so I had them disable the accounts. Well, SS15 got on his browser on his iphone and reactivated his. Of course I found out because we're friends on facebook.
DH googled it, and found out that you can put a code in the iphone that cannot be changed unless the kid knows the phone. You can use that code to restrict anything you like, from which apps he can download to internet access. DH put a pin code on the boys' phones and now they cannot use the internet on the phone unless he types in the code and allows it. You might think of putting some restrictions on the phone.
I don't allow the kids to have unfettered access to the internet, not because I don't trust them. It's because I don't trust anyone else.
Any parent who lets a 9 year
Any parent who lets a 9 year old have unlimited and unsupervised access to the internet is a pure dumb ass.
My SD's mother gave her a
My SD's mother gave her a cellphone when she was 11. I didn't allow it in my house.
1-because she was waaayyy to young to be responsible for it, and I certainly wasn't going to be responsible for it. God forbid it broke or something on our watch. The fallout would be far worse than saying she can't have it at our house.
2- because it would have become too intrusive, and at 11, she was too young to make those types of decisions.
3- we had a landline and if BM wanted to talk to her, she could call. As long as we weren't busy with a family activity or eating dinner, there was no rule regarding phone calls.
This too, was before WIFI. I certainly would never allow a child that young to have unsupervised internet access.
Your house... your rules. Tell your husband to tell BM he can't bring it to your house. When the boy gets to your house, you should both sit down and explain your decision to him. He won't like it, but at least he'll know there's a reason and not out of spite.
We were just told by a judge
We were just told by a judge that we are required to allow SD9 to have open access to the iPhone BM sends with her. It wouldn't bother me accept for the fact that BM will be calling 20 times a day.