So yesterday DH came home a few minutes early to talk to SD6. See, she's been asking all week when it's time to come back to our house to stay. She misses her sisters quite a bit when she is at her mom's house.

DH took her aside and explained to her that her mom was going out of town next week, so when it was time for her mom's weekend, she would be here instead, and that if she didn't go to her mom's house this weekend, she wouldn't see her mom for 3 weekends in a row. SD6 said "Well, why can't I go on the trip with her?" DH said "Because it's a grown up trip just for her and her BF. You are going to stay with me instead during that time. So would you like to go spend some time at your mom's this weekend?" She said that she didn't want to go there this weekend because she was just there last weekend and it was too long to go without spending the nights with her sisters. Fair enough.

When BM3 showed up to pick up SD6, SD6 got upset, thinking that she had expressed her feelings and that they were being disregarded. Actually, it's not our turn with her until Friday, so her mom was just picking her up to finish the week out. She said "But I just talked to my dad about this and he said I wouldn't have to go this weekend!" She broke down. BM3 of course starts saying (because DH hadn't had a chance to talk to her yet after talking to SD6), "No, you're going to come with me this weekend because I'm not going to be here next weekend." SD6 says "I know, I understand, but I've been waiting to be here, and I want to be here when it's time to be here."

BM3 always phrases stuff in such a way that it guilts SD6 into thinking she's hurting her mom. BM3 was saying things like "Well, that's a long time for me not to see you, and I will REALLY miss you."

I'm guessing when BM3 picks up today, she will have guilted the kid all night, and is going to come in and say "Oh, yeah, she got home and said she DOES want to be with me this weekend after all." The thing is, SD6 has been saying to her therapist that she doesn't want to live at BM3's during the week anymore, and she's been saying that here too. She goes to the therapist so she can have a safe place to talk to someone without having to worry about hurting someone's feelings. The counselor shares some of what they talk about, but not everything. She shared this because I had previously said that I was unwilling to allow SD6 to move to my house full time. Her mom is local and there was no reason at that time for her not to have split custody. Now, since SD6 is in school, and since her sibling at BM3's house doesn't live there anymore....I don't know. I don't necessarily WANT her to come live here, but I don't *not* want her here, either. I realize at this point that the only person it benefits for her to go week on week off is BM3. SD6 would spend as much time with her mom if she visited a couple of weekends a month but stayed here during the school term.

It just chaps me that BM twists stuff to make the kid feel bad. I don't think SD6 should be able to make these kinds of decisions for herself. She's 6. C'mon. But the thing is, it's reasonable for her not to want her schedule disrupted just because her mom decided to take an adult trip during her parenting time. She was looking forward to this weekend, that's okay.

I get that things happen, but if time with SD is important to her, BM could schedule her trips around her parenting time. It's a crappy thing to do and then put the kid in the position of saying no to their parent, who then later will guilt them.

Thanks for listening to my petty rant. Now, back to people with actual problems.