BM banned me from attending the SSs Open House/ Playdates/school events. And yet she wants to use me as an afterschool DayCare
In her never ending quest to show everyone she's MOTY, BM "banned" me from attending the SSons school functions. In her words, she's the mother and my attending those events will only confuse people as to who the kids real mother is. Mind you, she's ALWAYS late to the kids' events and almost never stay until the end because she's so important and has something better to do. DH wanted to fight her and say me and him are a package deal and because the kids are in our home more than half of the time, I should be involved and attend all school functions. Me on the other hand I'm not dying to go to those things. I've gone in the past because DH asked me to. Btu right now, I would much rather lay my pregnant butt down on the couch and relax or get the house ready for my baby rather than deal with all the drama.
The part that has me laughing is that in the same email where BM insists I not attend the SSons school functions, she also took the liberty to tell DH how I should spend my maternity leave. She wrote saying while I'm on my maternity leave, it will save all of us money if I pick up the SSons after school instead of them going to the afterschool program and on her days she'll pick them up from me around 6pm. SS5 is in kindergarten and they get out at 11:30 while SS6 gets out at 230. That means I will not have any one-on-one time with my baby-my first child.
If BM was nice person and we all got along, I would consider it because yes, since both DH and BM are responsible for paying half of the afterschool fees, it will be beneficial for all of us if that can be avoided. BUT, BM is such a horrible person who acts like I'm her rival. She constantly tells me (in front of the kids and other people) that she's the mother and I will never be and so on and so forth. She's not allowed in my house for various reasons so why on God's green earth would I allow her to come to my front door twice a week to pick up the kids from me? And from the tone of her email, she was not asking or suggesting, she was telling DH that he should tell me that.
My maternity leave is for me to bond with my child, not play daycare provider to her kids!
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Comments
LOL OMG you should tell her
LOL OMG you should tell her you're not the mom so it's not your responsibility to watch HER children.
BM tried to pull that crap she takes credit for everything I do for SS. When it came time to place the blame because SS was failing school, not doing homework etc. She tried to blame me. I told her "Oh no honey, you wanted credit for everything he does, this one is all yours"
BM is the same. She takes
BM is the same. She takes credit for things she didn't do and blames DH and me when the kids display bad habits. And let's not mention her sense of entitlement!
Don't do. My stepsons spent
Don't do. My stepsons spent my maternity leave with me all summer when I had the only child I will ever have. They are good boys but what I wouldn't have given to just have that time alone with my baby.
Tell her maternity leave is
Tell her maternity leave is for mothers to watch their children and she's made it clear SS is not yours but hers.
You plan to watch your child and hope that she plans to watch her as a good mother should.
"But you're the mother and me
"But you're the mother and me picking them up from school and taking care of them after school will only confuse people as to who the kids real mother is"
LOL. I love this. I think
LOL. I love this. I think that's what I'll DH to tell her.
Can't wait to hear her
Can't wait to hear her response when her own words are thrown back into her face. What a piece of work.
LOL this would have been the
LOL this would have been the perfect response
our BM is like this. She
our BM is like this. She believes that I should do exactly as she says. Not sure why she thinks that.
The answer is simple: Golden
The answer is simple: Golden uterus. BM believes just because she opened her legs and popped out those kids that means DH (and now me) have to jump whenever she says so.
I would simply ignore her
I would simply ignore her demand/request that you not go to these school events. If you feel like going, go-if you don't then stay home-but I wouldn't base those decisions on her.
As far as the childcare I would say exactly what the above poster suggested about not wanting to create confusion so you feel its best if you don't watch the boys.
Then end it all with "have a great day"
The day BM opens her mouth
The day BM opens her mouth and suggest how I spend my time will be the day that I tell BM exactly how she should parent. }:)
Good Lord, that is a sense of entitlement, she needs to be put in her place. Who cares if you being home on maternity leave is an opportunity to save you all money? She can pound sand.
She cannot control you, she can only control herself. Go to the open house/playdates/whatever the F you want to. She can have a hissy fit in front of others to prove what a crazy she is.
Your not allowed to attend
Your not allowed to attend skid events etc. BUT your good enough to babysit :? I love how these BM's like to pick and choose what the SM will and will not do.
Your BM as well as Swamp Hole, feel they are still a part of the "original family" and that it should always trump the new marriage/family, as if she was entitled to call all the shots.
I would have DH tell BM that since she can't get past her insecurities as being the mother of his children and is disrespectful to you as their step mother, she will not pick and choose when you are allowed to be a part of the skids lives. And since you are not the skids mother, your maternity leave is specifically designated for YOUR child.