BM wants me as crazy as she is!
I swear the BM wants to drive me to be as crazy as she is!
I've been off of work the last month and have been spening the extra time with my kids over the holidays until I started my new job this week. Being home and dealing with the BM's emails and conduct is really driving me crazy!
I try to be nice and nice and spew out more niceness....but get slammed back with sarcasm, and continued knocks again me, my husband and anything that that we do.
I just don't get how a person can be so mean and want to be so negative all the time and about everything.
I just want to give up and maybe I should sit down with my DH and figure out the right way to give up on BM regarding so many of the things she does and just focus on the kids.
Yet again, she sent me an email that I am not my SD's parent and have no business in SD's concerns. I wrote about 3 different emails...the others had everything I wish I could say....before telling her that I did not need her approval or acknowledgment to be my SD's mother. That SD gave me that every time she came home and no matter how hard she tried to push me out of SD's life, I am now and would be in the future a parent to SD.
My DH says I should just ignore her and I know he's right....she just gets my blood boiling over all the things she does to discredit me to SD and to try and push me out.
Whew! After typing this out I feel much better! Love this website and thanks to all who share their stories and advice!
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Comments
IMO
You can only take so much. At least that is what has happened to me in the past. BM drove me to the breaking point a few time and I think that after awhile it's impossible to just ignore. I have to admit though my come backs to her rants, bashes, blame, and insinuations have always been calm, to the point and so honestly the truth that it has shut her down immediately.
She once sent a very nasty letter about me to BF and I read it, got steaming mad, waited until I cooled down and wrote the nicest letter defending myself. The point I made most was that her rage against me was unwarrented and that it showed just how jealous and insecure she was to have to bash her X's GF just to make herself feel better.
Her reply to my reply "Have a nice day Sweety" she is definately crazy.
Alisha
You will always be the step
You will always be the step parent and never the mother. You are mean and spiteful not to have any empathy or understanding of the mother's pain and sense of loss when her child spends time with you. Undestand that she IS jealous and insecure - maybe you are younger, better looking, more fun than she is - be a 'sister'. Be there for women.
Relax...there are only two people who can ruin your relationship
The only two people that can truly ruin a relationship...you and your spouse. That became very apparent to me in my own relationship. She won't change, your reaction has to or it will drive you crazy. Take care!
She does it to get a rise out of you...
truthfully, you're showing her your true colors that make her glee when she's doing it. Either the nice tactic you're doing isn't working because she sees right through it, or it hasn't been done long enough, persistent enough, or who knows...she's just immune to it.
In my opinion, I would literally ignore her. Let it go. In fact, don't read her emails, and block her email address. Only have emails sent to a joint account for you and your DH to handle together if you have to.
Jealousy and insecurities are major factors for over zealous, power hungry, vindictive exs. They aren't happy, and won't be happy until you are unhappy. You know the saying... misery loves company. Therefore, I literally would approach her with as little as you can, smile, smile, smile, nod and move on. But seriously don't take her personally. She knows that you do. I am willing to bet that she is somehow reading your body language, and/or reading between the lines, etc. It is a form of manipulation. If you react to her, it reassures her, if you just ignore her, you're not giving her the satisfaction of continuing it.
Stand strong and firm, and know you're not alone in this.