LONG SORRY BM randomly decides to stop communicating, and blames FDH!
FDH has been communicating ONLY through email since January.
BM would call, FDH wouldn't answer, it would go to voicemail, if it needed a response, FDH would email it.
BM would text, FDH would email a response.
Finally BM started emailing back and forth about three months after FDH started doing this.
Then suddenly a month ago, she had a melt down.
(I posted about this but I'll summarize. skid hurt foot, needed stitches out, BM made appt on FDH's time when FDH couldn't be there, skids told FDH BM was talking skid to get stitches out, FDH emailed BM to clarify, BM freaked and said FDH verbally agreed to the time and BM would not be driving the hour down to get skid hour back to the appt, hour back to drop back off skid, and hour back home, so FDH said he was going to change the appt time)
BM sent an email response demanding no more emails not more texts that she wanted "to know who she was talking to" from now on phone calls only!
But FDH continued to email,... AND BM CONTINUED TO RESPOND!! She sent responses twice after this NO MORE EMAIL email. So FDH continued to email.
UNTIL A FEW DAYS AGO,...
FDH sent a time sensitive email involving one of the kids asking for a response by last night. He did not get a response, so he sent a text saying
"check your email"
BM responded in text
“About that…kids have told me OUTSIDER has sent me several emails. I don’t use the yahoo email anymore. Which is why I told you in our last email conversation (several weeks ago) not to email me. If you have something to speak to me about then you will need to call or text.”
FDH responded in text
then check your XXXXXXX@gmail.com" (this one she uses for communication with the kids school)
BM responded in text:
“Nope, you have been blocked. I cannot receive emails from you. You have 2 choices, communicate with me or don’t”
few minutes later
“I don’t want to speak with you anymore than you to me. I only want what’s best for the children.”
FDH responded:
“Email is legal, court approved, form of acceptable communication between divorced parents. We had working communication through email until you put a stop to it. Written, documented communication is what is best for the children so there is never another he said/ she said moment. Unblock my email and resume communication or do we need to go back to mediation or court?”
BM did not send anything back.
FDH sent this series of emails and texts to his lawyer this morning to ask how to legally proceed.
BM is contradicting herself in her demands. She said in email never to text or email her again that she wanted phone calls only, but then says in a text that she wants FDH to text or call. She said the reason she didn’t want FDH to email was becaquse she wants to know it’s FDH she’s talking to but then says it is because she stopped using her yahoo email, but then said she blocked FDH from her gmail account.
What the hell!!! EMail was WORKING!!! Why did she just decide one day to stop using it and block FDH???!!!
Is BM just flipping out because she is realizing that she is losing control over my FDH?? Or is she just trying to F with him?
The courts will support FDH, right??? That's what I told him. Documentation on paper is always favored over he said she said stuff, right??
I share these posts with FDH so any words of wisdom from past experiences would be helpful.
I am going to go with, she
I am going to go with, she told your FDH the answer and you guys glossed over it.
The kids probably told her that you are emailing her as FDH or you have emailed at his direction and you put something that did not sound like him or you spelled a word wrong that he wouldn't or one was spelled right that he wouldn't but something set her off and she feels that she is dealing with you and she doesn't like it.
Honestly though, I get it. I was texting word for word what FDH said because he was driving and BM2 caught on that it was me and she flipped her lid. When I thought about it I realized I would be just as pissed off if sperm donor let his girlfriend send me texts about our child. It is between him and I and no one else.
In my case it was BM being stubborn about pick up/drop off. We had to keep fighting with her to get her to show up on time. I don't know why it is all that important to not stick to a schedule but it was to BM. She either would bring him back at 7am on Sundays (when we were sleeping and no warning) or she would not be able to get her ass out of bed and want to bring him by at 9 at night when his bedtime is 8 and he has school the next morning. He would aslo need a bath since she doesn't believe in bathing or brushing teeth. It was just flipping clusterf*ck with this woman. Unfortunately she is right in the fact that she should not have to deal with you. Why would you want to anyway. She is nuts and the more contact you have the worse she gets. Let your FDH deal with his foolish mistake.
I'll never understand why
I'll never understand why stepmoms (or girlfriends) think it's their right or responsibility or even appropriate to pretend to be the other parent and handle communications about kids. If the email is coming from DH's account, or the text from his phone .. it should be written by him.
I get that there are some situations where SM can step in to help out (DH is driving and texts need urgent response, etc), but otherwise? No, he can write the dang communications himself.
BM is likely freaking out because she's in part losing control of her DH, but also because she thinks YOU are trying to control HER. I'm sure a judge would agree that email communication is best, but he will also side with her in that the communication needs to happen between the parents.