Another Weekend in custodial stepparent land....
Sigh-
It has been awhile since I have blogged re Zippy-DH is getting the hint about rules, boundaries and limitations re the Zipster.
Zippy was supposed to go to his mom's this weekend but he is working-he called her to see if he could come over Thursday/Friday/Saturday this week (it has been over two weeks since he has seen her but at 16 3/4 quarters years old,(yes I am counting!!) visitation is pretty much up to them-but good ol S'n'M is "too busy" with her friends (she does not work) to see her son). This woman is a true fruit cake if ever there was one-DH agrees-what BM NEVER calls her son to see how he is doing? Leaves ALL visitation up to Zippy and turns him down 50% of the time when he does want to see her? I hope Karma bites her in the butt-her own bio daughter NEVER sees her nor brings her grandson over because of all the pain S'n'M has put her through. Hard to watch Zippy get turned down yet again-S'n'M goes around bragging how she is mother of the year whose darling son (whom she never calls) was ripped out of her bosom by nasty DH so he would not have to pay CS-total crap but you all know how that is.....
Zippy is working this weekend so there will be some reprieve from the kid who never leaves the basement. He cannot be a normal teen-it's hard to rebel against your parent when you are as insecure about their love or worry how much you matter to your parents. We finally got Zippy to stop clinging to his father like a limpet clings to an ocean rock-he just needs to know we are there constantly!!! Never thought I would be dealing with that scenario with an almost 17 year old young man....
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Truly weird
No normal 17 year old clings to his parent. Good luck this weekend. We're all rooting for you!
"Evil Stepmothers aren't born, it comes with the territory"
Endora
No normal teenager period acts this way but then there is Mini Moo14. Who sat on daddy's lap, called him "da Da" and jumped in his arms... HMMM Now that there are rules, limits, boundries, demanding of respect. Mini Moo has PAS'D out. Go figure Can't say I am sad about it either. There is hope in my marriage
Good Luck this weekend Endora. I think I may have a nice quiet SD free weekend
YES YES YES!!!
~The SM formally known as Hopeless12 I am now FULL OF HOPE :)~~
Well Vickmeister
We are in Canada-need I say more about the enabling social system here (or disabling system)-
Zip was a half and half kid (50% daddy's-50% mom's -Mom is a welfare child herself and is on welfare until retirement now)-mommy NEVER had Zip full time (her bio daughter from her first marriage, yes, DH was her second, was abandoned on her first DH's doorstep at 2 years old)-Zip was made in a petrie dish (in-vitro) courtesy of the Canadian Government - once Zip was born S'n'M was in and out of his life like a fall leaf-Dh is Zip's only stability-
BM is a product of our "wonderful Canadian social system"-btw -our tax dollars got Zip on the planet in the first place-was all free here in Canada until "gov't" figurered out was not a good return re our low country birthrate.
There are many such chilren here in the North country-government subsidized to increase our population-the fertility machine has now stopped and immigration remains our best bet here.
Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!
Zippy
is working???? Oh my! That is a good sign. My SS is 17.4 (and counting) and still has no job. He likes to go to the arcades. He's so good at it he wins all his friends!!!!
CS is stopping next JUNE. And it WILL STOP. I hope he gets a job.
He was invitro and still biomom ignores him???Invitro costs big bucks in the US.
Good to hear from you Endora.
Gov't Programs
Canada has had some hit and misses with our health care system-the practically free invitro program (which ended in 1992), and the sexual "reassignment" program were two examples.
DH now with a taste of 24/7 parenting as I disengaged two years ago-finds that real parenting is very tiresome, was easier when S'n'M thought Zip was cute and cuddly-not 6'2", hairy, with an attitude and wants nothing more to do with him.
S'n'M qualifies for disability (she has chronic fatigue syndrome)-not to dis people with real chronic fatigue but I believe she has chronic lazy ass syndrome-S'n'M is a product of the Canadian Welfare system to begin with so she is a professional at making it work for her.
DH is starting to get with the program-but there are a few steps back now and again. For me it is dealing with the surprise custody two years ago-the resentment is what I am working on-and it isn't really so much about Zippy-but the lack of parenting and how tiring it is to watch.
Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!