Hi Everyone,

I've been with my husband for 10 years, we've been married for 5. This is a second marriage for both. I do not have any children. My husband has a 35 year old daughter. He is 12 years older than me. From the begining and when he introduced me to his daughter I have always been friendly, thoughtful and wanted to have a good relationship with her. When she has had challenges I have always been very positive with her and supportive. My husband raised his daughter on his own since she was 5 years.

Since we have been married for 5 years, I feel very uncomfortable around my stepdaughter and find the term "stepdaughter" uncomfortable since I'm 11 years older than her. She doesn't call me a "stepmom", which is fine. I've called her and sent emails with sometimes no response. When we visit her home she is friendly but I don't feel like she wants a close connection with me.

I told my husband that when I married him I thought it would be nice to also have a nice relationship with his daughter. My husband states that I shouldn't have expectations. I should just go with the flow but my insticts make me feel uncomfortable. I feel ignored or that I don't exist. I'm humble and not the type of person that wants to be the center of attention.

I don't have much experience in this department but can feel when someone doesn't want a close connection with me. I figured since I'm married to her father it would be nice to have a connection with her too but this may not be the case on her end.

Can any of you that have experience in this area, please provide some guidance as to what I should do? If she doesn't reach out to me to connect, do I need to try to keep reaching back? Or, do I need to keep trying to get her to like me, and provide (support, gifts etc)to someone who seems to only want me when it supports their own agenda?

Thank you.

Gigi