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deew.001's picture

my sissy gave me this site and i have never posted on it....although i have read alot about yall most of yall sk's i would have buried mby now......now to my own ss12 he has lived with me for 6 years now...his mother lost custody of him do to drug usage and now has passed on do to her drugs.....i cant say i feel sorry for her because she done it to her self......i know that sounds bad but.....anyways how do i get the credit or being the only mother the child has ever known? i love him to death nothing in this wrold i wouldnt do for him....why does he listen to his father......but when i talk its through one ear and out the other.......i am the one thats here all ay long husband is a officer so he works crazy feakin hours so he does not get the plesure in the disapline......i do it ALLLLL baths wash cloths clean house do school events i do it allll no help dont ask for it.......but i am soooooooo tired of when i talk i dont get heard at all from the husband nor the ss12 s when i say i need help with him could you please do something about it im the ne that gets yelled at WTF i am one person have 3 kids and one that isnt even mine but he is cause i am the only mother he has ever known......i need a way to let husband know that im am done talking in the air how do i get him to relize i cant do this all on my own theother kids are gettin older i need him to meet me half way how do i do that cause they way i do it it ends a big ass fight or not gettin talked to for4 days i cant take it no moreeeee PLEASE HELP!!!

Comments

imagr8tma's picture

Since he won't tell you............ Thanks to you for taking in this child and treating him like your own. He needs that.

Second, i have a bd13 - and I think it is the same issue. BUT it is what teenagers do. They don't listen very well at all.

Keep on being the mother that he needs. He will eventually stop being a "teenager - snot nose" and realize that you love him.

deew.001's picture

thank you.....i was 20 years old when we won custody of him ive been here for him ever since when no one lse wanted him not even his mother makes wanna cry.......hes not a bad child nevr has been but i want credit sometimes to you know.....i want to feel like im the mother of the year for once for that matter the wife of the year swear im so sick of looking at these same damn 4 walls everyday its pittiful!!!!!

melis070179's picture

Teenage years are tough, with ANY kid....but I would ask your DH to go to counseling. Tell him you're unhappy & feel unappreciated & can't do all the parenting all on your own. It will only get worse if these kids don't see a united front from the parents! Has your SS always treated you this way or is this something new?

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

deew.001's picture

always always always and as for counsouling YES EFFIN RIGHT thats something he would never do hi pride is to big for that........and all the above i feel not loved not appreciated not anything i feel im just here to get clothes washed dinner cooked kids baths school events if it wasnt for me the house would fall apart i guess this is what i get for loving someone at an ealry age in life i was 18 dont get me wrong ilove him not matter wha we fight about i just feel me cracking bit by bit.....

melis070179's picture

Here's the thing...you can't make a marriage work by yourself. Both partners need to put 100% effort into it. Marriage is HARD. Having kids is even HARDER. If this is a man that will not listen & will not participate in the marital relationship, he's not giving you much of a reason to stay. You really need to try to get him to understand your frustrations & that he needs to participate in your family dynamics. Otherwise you are just a single mother and you don't need him around to be that!

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

melis070179's picture

One other piece of advice, when you talk to him, use "I" statements and not "you" statements...as in, "I feel..." or "I would like it if..." and not "you aren't doing this" or "you aren't doing that". People feel attacked by "you" statements & will quickly throw up their defenses and shut down their listening capabilities.

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

BMJen's picture

Hi sissy! kisses! Tell my brother to get up off his ass and do some helping around that house before I beat him senseless!

Love you***I told you all the ladies on here rock. Thank God for this site, and for you!

Jenn