SS was scared to death to be left alone in a room with me last night after we picked him up from daycare
When DH and I got there to pick him up, he looked at us both like he had never seen us a day in his life, almost like he was looking right through us..
Also we found it very odd that without even saying "hi" first, he walked over to DH and lifted up his shirt to see his belt..
WTF?
Now the best part was this, he acted so-so in the car, but when we got him home- any room I would enter, when SS was in it alone he would "bolt" out of the room like a mad man and actually would do it in this really "pissed off" way- I thought it was just a coincidence, but then tried it again, without looking at him or speaking to him, as soon as he noticed me, he grabbed his toys and ran!
DH spoke with him, and told SS that we love him, and that he's not sure what BM may have said to him, but that he doesn't need to be afraid at our house- DH tried to make SS apologize to me, and he absolutely would not, and threw a tantrum, then DH asked him to come give me a hug, and he kept saying over and over that he didn't want to, and was hysterically crying-
SS has NEVER acted like that, BM was supposed to get her home visit from the GAL last Wednesday, and I wonder if maybe the GAL let BM know how happy SS was at our home when she came here.
SS has never acted frightened of DH and myself to the point of running out of the room or looking for belts etc-
We called the GAL last night and let her know what happened because it was so bizarre, I felt like a criminal, and DH was pissed that SS was treating me the way he was, but found it hard to handle, because if BM is telling him horrible things that we may do to him, and then we punish him for the way he treats us, it's even more confusing to SS-
Also SS is so delayed in speech, you can't ask him if "anything" was said to him, to make him scared of me-
ADVICE IS NEEDED..
THANKS-
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Comments
Poor little man...
I know you must feel irritated and insulted, I would too. But I just feel so bad for your SS. Who knows what that monster told him. Maybe she said his daddy would beat him with the belt if he was alone with you.
What did your GAL say? You did the right thing in notifying them immediately. I think the only other thing you can do is be consistent and kind to SS. Don't go overboard and be a guilt parent...but as long as you don't do anything suddenly different, he may come to see that his mom was wrong.
Yes very- I was in tears over it last night..
The GAL didn't call back last night, but it would be nice to know what to do in this situation-
I feel like I'm a stranger in my own house, it's a horrible feeling for someone to actually be terrified to be around you alone-
We understand BM would threaten her middle child as well- From a previous relationship
The middle son told his dad's new wife that he's not allowed to be alone with her if his dad is not around, we talk to the new wife often, as they have taken BM to court as well.
the poor baby!
how old is he? obviously it was something very very horrible bm said to him. i hope she didnt do anything to him as well. i would defiantly assume she has been running her mouth. please find proper counseling for your ss, and maybe get him checked out as well. i am sure u guys already looked him over for bruises and such. and maybe ask the daycare how his behavior has been.
im sorry bm did this to you guys and that little boy. my thoughts and prayers are with you.
He's 5 but a very young 5- he acts 2
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers, I appreciate that.
He's a little better this morning, but not much..
He is very defiant for some reason..
MrsParks
Oh I feel for you and for your poor SS and for your DH. What a f*cking b*tch BM is. How much sh*t would you have to tell a poor little boy to scare him that much? She' s probably threatening him with either punishment from you, or abandonment from her if he continues to be nice to you.
You say she threatened her middle child as well. Do you know what the threat was? And does it seem similar to how your SS is now reacting? (Like "If you are nice to x, then I will ...." or If you are nice to x, then the court will take you away from me..." or "If you are bad over at dad's, then he will beat you"... ) Do you know what she said to middle child?
Stay strong. My heart goes out to you and your family. But just know that the GAL will see through this crap and BM is digging her own grave. I hope that SS gets away from that woman soon. And someday, I believe he will realize how horrible she is to him.
Best wishes...
We don't know exactly what was said to the middle child
Only that he was informed to tell step mom that he's not allowed alone with her. and that Step mom let us know, that that child will not so much as open his mouth in her presence-everything is answered with "i don't know" "i don't know" like a little robot
From what that step-mom tells us and our SS's reactions yesterday and today, it seems exactly the same..
This is such..
a terrible situation. I feel bad for you, DH, and SS. I know my SD's BM is crazy, but she has never did this. I can't believe a mother of any kind would do that to a child. It's obvious that she has done it before and that she is doing it to your SS as well. I know someone mentioned to not turn into a guilt parent..but maybe consider doing his favorite things often. Make it known to him that you and DH aren't going to hurt him in any way...and maybe throw in there that NO ONE (including his BM) is not going to hurt him. He obviously needs the reassurance because of whatever BM has told him. Take him for ice cream, to the park, a McDonalds with a play place, just anything to show him he doesn't have to be scared. Good luck..and good job with calling GAL.