Trial Separations...Anyone with experience?
I am so sick of constantly being disappointed in the man I love. Besides the crappy step-shit, I also feel like I am the only adult in this relationship. I am the responsible one, the reliable one, and I resent like hell that I have no one to depend on the way he can depend on me... If you have any interest in my step-story, I posted a couple of blogs (4?) over the last couple of years and am too tired to explain that pig show over again.
I need to find out if I would be happier with or without him. The positives are extremely wonderful but the negatives are tipping the scale big time. Please give me some advice on how to go about this...
- KeeKee's blog
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fortunately, I have
no experience with seperations, though I have felt like it a time or two! I do think sometimes it is helpful and necessary for people to take a "time-out". I wish you luck!
not yet but.....
KeeKee,i've read some of your blogs and i can't help but think that i will be you some day if i don't move on. i am not yet at the point that i never want to see my dh again, but i have announced to him that i no longer want to live with ss15. the guilt parenting and waste of space of a child is for me too much. we have only lived together since may'08 and married in april '09 but when i was putting the ss dishes in the dishwasher (my mistake i know) during my honeymoon, that was it. i almost immediatly started to plan my escape from the madness. the house is up for sale and i told him that we need to go back to the way things were as i cannot deal or watch this anymore and simply am not happy. with all the fights as a result of ss and bm in this short period of time, i fear that the idea of seperate living arrangements will soon turn to divorce or seperation if nothing is done. i know you were looking for advice, and i am babbling on about myself, but in a way i am giving you an alternative it sounds like you're already thinking about. for me, i know enough of dh and how happy we were before this "stranger" came under my roof. i have never bonded with the child and trapped in the same house i feel i never will. tell dh that the move is for the best and that some seperation will give you peace in your own home, remember peace , sweet peace? that freedom and your own space will likely increase your happiness immediatly and will probably give dh a wake up call.
Maybe counseling would help
Check out the blog called "First Session" from today.
"Evil Stepmothers aren't born, it comes with the territory"
We have had in total, about 4 years worth of counseling
and each time I would come away from it with real hope as DH was really "getting" it and saying everything I wanted to hear. He believes everything that he is saying but when it comes down to having to put his money where his mouth is, he fails miserably. I have to face the fact that he is never going to change and I need to find out if I'm going to accept that or if my life would be happier without him....