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Help! tough situation w/ a 20 year old step daughter

Joanstepmom's picture

I have a 20 year old step daughter that ONLY visits, well, how do I say this tactfully, while she is on her monthly. I think it is safe to say she comes during this "inconvenient time" since she does have a steady boyfriend. I don't have a problem with her visits, she is welcomed anytime, but I am grossed out by the condition that she leaves the toilet seat at times and I feel very uncomfortable about approaching her to clean it up. I don't know how to start the conversation with her about this. (and no, I had a hysterectomy years ago, so don't ask if it's possibly me) Has anyone else ever had this similar situation??

Thanks in advance!

step off already's picture

Well, my DD12 just started her cycle and I can relate. She struggles with neatness as it is, but the challenge of sharing a bathroom with three brothers and trying to be discrete coupled with her newness to this whole thing has created some "surprises" here and there that I've walked in on.

I remember that my step mom had to ask me at one point to please wrap up my applicators because my dad didn't like to look at them in the garbage. I was a kid and didn't know any better though.

Maybe you could try a similar technique with SD and blame it on DH.

dontcallmestepmom's picture

There is no reason for a 20 year old to be doing this. It is disgusting. I would try hanging up a cute little sign saying something about keeping the bathroom clean and tidy.

My DH's daughter is almost 24 and also has hygiene issues. She just does not care.

Joanstepmom's picture

Whimsey6, I never thought of it that way! OMG, she is constantly making jokes of how clean I keep my house. Yes, it is clean, but it is two adults living here...no little kids around. Good grief! :jawdrop:

katietome's picture

I shouldn't laugh.... but I was about to post about a particular bathroom (aka head) on a US Navy ship occupied by only women.

But, then you did.... Sooooo, I'll pass.

Kate

khr641's picture

oh my that is disgusting! i cant believe at 20 she has to be told to clean up after herself. i can understand it with sd thats just getting started but.....oh my im sending up prayers for you on this one:) i am so uncomfortable talking about those types of things i dont know how i could ever bring it up i think i would have to tell dad to deal with it.

SugarSpice's picture

No surprise on this. With SDs visiting they just threw their bloodied things unwrapped in the bathroom trash bin. They make the bathroom look like a roadside public restroom. BM never taught them about modesty among other things.

katietome's picture

I'd follow Dzty's example.

Type up a nice and pretty sign on the computer and post it 2-3 places around the bathroom.

She'll get the point.

Kate

Jocasta's picture

Yuk - Gross. When the skids first stayed with us when me and DH had first moved in together, I several times found the toilet in a disgusting state - I told DH I was not wiping anyone else's sh** from the the toilet. I asked him to have a word with them and teach them how to use a toilet brush, obviously something that had been omitted from the DH and BM's parenting (along with lots of other things).