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Well, that didn't go well.

2SteppinInCali's picture

Submitted by 2SteppinInCali on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 10:00pm

Soooo, I apologized for turning into a biach yesterday after CUNextTuesday ignored me at the basketball game AND altered her plans with the Skid's for the day. Quite big of me, considering I f****ing can't stand her and do not feel the need to accomodate her, ever. But DH does. Anyway, the conversation goes from fine to bad to worse and DH says if I want this to be "my house" to let him know and he and the Skid's can be gone. All he needs is ten minutes! WOW! Only ten minutes after all the SH** I have gone through to try to make this work?? Then he just leaves. So I can't even respond. Nice huh???? Good thing that Prozac is starting to work. I am soo pisssed right now.

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bookgirl's picture

Submitted by bookgirl on Sun, 07/26/2009 - 10:43pm

When you tell a doctor that you're a stepmother, he/she should hand over a pez dispensor that gives out zanex, no further questions asked. ~Bookgirl~

TooNewTOoknowBetta's picture

Submitted by TooNewTOoknowBetta on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 1:51am

Did he leave really? The reason I say this is because I get threats regarding issues about SD all the time. The main thing we fight about is discipline to SD I am the evil Stepmother and to SD... her father is just loads of fun... when we bump heads and I mean hard. He threatens to leave, to send her back and everything else... but once the dust has cleared... and our tempers have dropped we can speak level headed and come to a real solution. on the other hand if all it took was ten minutes for him to leave and they truly got all there shit.. without any phone calls from him yet... let it go... why have all this heartache and pain... unless that is what you truly want... LOL@ BOOKGIRL... wondering who the hell got my prescription.. or do you have to have the ring first?

2SteppinInCali's picture

Submitted by 2SteppinInCali on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 8:15am

SKIDs are with their mom. DH took off after dropping that bomb. He came back about two hours later (after the laundry was done)and has not spoken a word to me. At least he came to bed. Saturday night he slept in the kids room. I couldn't sleep so I ended up onthe couch last night watching the tube. He leaves this a.m. without saying goodbye. I know I am being childish but I refuse to be the one to offer the olive branch. I started our "dialogue" yesterday after being ingnored all day only to get him acting like an ass and takng off. If he wants to tal to me, he can make the first move. Is it me or is he being passive aggressive trying to punish me? I hope that when he stops being a big baby we can actually talk.

PS You don't have to have the ring first for the prescription. LOL We are not even married. Got engaged in March. This has been a problem since he unexpectedly moved his kids in with us in December. Apparently I have the problem.... adjusting and being flexible.

belleboudeuse's picture

Submitted by belleboudeuse on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 9:08am

Uh, no, you are not the one being childish. He drops that bomb on you and then gives you the silent treatment after WALKING OUT on you? I'm sorry, those are three strikes against him. Healthy relationships do not engage in that kind of behavior. He's just trying to bully you into backing down and shutting up. The problem is, if you give the "olive branch" in this "It's my way or the highway" fight, then it will reinforce to him that it's his way, not yours.

Relationships are about communication and trust. He is showing you that your reward for telling him about your frustrations is to be shut out and stonewalled. This is complete and utter B.S.

I take kind of a hard line on stonewalling, and that might not be helpful to you, so here's an article on it that talks about how to deal with it. The author it refers to, John Gottman, is someone whose work you might want to read more of, because he talks about this stuff a lot.

http://www.familiesonlinemagazine.com/stonewalling.html

Stonewalling was something my EX-husband did all the time. Unfortunately, he was completely unable to change, which is why he's my ex.

"Got engaged in March. This has been a problem since he unexpectedly moved his kids in with us in December. Apparently I have the problem.... adjusting and being flexible."

I assume (hope) you are being sarcastic about the "apparently you have the problem" part. I mean, I'm sure you're both contributing stuff to the problems. But it sounds to me that he is pushing it all off on you, saying YOU are the problem. As far as the "unexpectedly moved his kids in", did he talk to you about it? Was it a decision you reached together? If not, for god's sake, don't marry this guy until the two of you learn to communicate better -- and until HE learns that there are TWO adults living in your fricking house, not ONE!!!

BB

- You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. (2Bloved)

2SteppinInCali's picture

Submitted by 2SteppinInCali on Mon, 07/27/2009 - 9:30am

We did not reach the decsion to have the kids fulltime together. We moved in together to save for the wedding with the understandinghte kids would be here 50/50 and EVENTUALLY (after we marreid) fulltime. Six months into it, right before Christmas he calls me hysterical and says SS is ocming to live with us now (they were on their way here) and SD would be here next week after school got out. It has been a rollercoaster ever since. I suddenly was in charge of getting them off to school. SS having a hard time with homework and at schooland SD being very needy every day when I got home from work. BM being a bitch. Blah blah blah. Yes, I was being sarcastic. Most of the time we communicate pretty well. This is the first time he's pulled this crap! Thanks for the link. I will check it out.