to me as well! Which eventually led to MIL and I having a HUGE confrontation and now we don't speak. I do not lose sleep over it though, MIL is a wicked, evil being....

My SDs would always tell people that I treated them badly, mostly b/c that is what the perception of a SM is....to be evil. I was better to those kids than their own mother, even DH says that. However, they would lie and say horrible things to MIL especially. Mil, being the dumbass she is, believed all the BS. I would always call SDs on their lies...it's the only way to teach them that you know what they are doing and you do NOT approve!

My stepdaughter is now 19, and despite the fact that I have always been the "good stepmother," when discipline items came around in her teens, I turned into the evil bitch from her perspective. There was a 3 month period where she actually refused to come to our house and did not speak to me because I had asked her to stop texting her boyfriend and study for a test instead. Stepdaugher or daughter - the botttom line is that she is 17. At 17, she knows everything and you are useless. You are even more useless because you represent the non-broken home that she did not get to get. Whatever the circumstances of your marriage, you are still the one that got to have a family, and she is the one who got a broken mess. So, give yourself a break. It is not atypical for a teen to act like that, less so for a stepteen, and she WILL eventually grow out of it. Just rise above it and let her know you care about her and if you have to say something, tell her it hurts your feelings (but not too much or you give her too much power) and let it go. I also have a close personal friend who became my stepdaugher's confidante and little by little by 19 year old has realized that this "friend" just likes to mix it up and is really of little benefit to her. It took her 2 years to figure it out, but she finally has. sounds like the "godfather" likes to either be in the middle of controversy or wants to be a "better" parent than you. I would ignore him. It will get ould for him eventually too, one would hope.

I agree 17 is 17, basically she is still a kid, no matter how mature she thinks she is. Their is no reason for you to leave your home. This will only give her the satisfaction that she has effected you.

Teenage years are tough, girls talk shit all the time. It makes them feel mature, wordly and important. I know I have 3 teenagers. You are the adult, let this stage pass also.

If you want to confront her, maybe take her to lunch so it does not become a yelling match. Let her know that you are upset that she did not come to you first if she had a problem. Let her know that its ok, you forgive her but will not tolerate it.

Now the godfather, why is he spreading this around, and causing trouble.? Its ok to hear this goddaughter vent. But his maturity level seems low, for even letting it get out of the room.
My daughter vents to my sister about me, my sister will neve tell me because she knows she is just trying to act tough and mature.
The godfather should keep thing personal and have control of the situation.

I would talk to her, tell her your always available to hear her problems and dont let her know she has the power to upset you enough to leave your home.
OUgh teenagers!!,,but that godfather double ough!

I have to agree. My 2 step daughters are in their 20's now and they certainly have not changed their attitudes towards me. Believe me, I gave them no reason to hate me.

Over the years I showed them many acts of kindness and at times I stupidly thought I might be making progress. Then the horrible realization dawned on me that the whole time, they had been sniggering and bitching to my in-laws behind my back about me. Things were said that no doubt, just slipped from their tongues so easily and without any thought about how it might make their father or even me feel.

The really hurtfull thing though is that the adults (my sister in-laws) have fuelled this whole situation. In their ignorance they have helped create a horrible chiasm that will probably never be fixed.

Yes, for years I really began to doubt myself and I lost all confidence. When in my in-law's presence I was frightened to speak or even go and put the kettle on because as far as they were concerned, nothing, absolutely nothing I could do was right.

I believe if it wasn't for their venomous comments I might have had a fighting chance with the sd's. God knows, it's difficult enough being a step parent without even more hostility from grown women who you would think might feel they want to show their own brother some loyalty. As the old saying goes, "There's nowt as queer as folk."