Self centered
Forums:
I posted this here because i want to know from experience with your adult step children. SD 14 is very self centered. It is all about her... her games her friends her school. She is kind of full of herself. She never asks questions about us or anything. Is this normal for a 14 yr old girl? Do they grow out of this or will she be a needy whinny all about her adult. Could this even get worse from here? Just want her to be a well adjusted adult. DH does not seem to think its a problem then again nothing ever is with her. She was not nearly as bad a few years ago. Always needy but not all about her.
yes
some kids are sweet but it seems like the norm is otherwise. it seems like empathy is a learned behavior that needs to be taught, especially when one is an only child
shy or full of heself?
I have a BD who seems to be shy around people but not full of herself.but she cares for people in a genuine way... I feel your SD may have always been the centre of attention especially when the marriage broke down. I am not sure if she will grow out of it but my SD is so full of herself it is not funny.....I feel men do not want to believe their daughters do have problems and this does not help them, daddy's type kids...What is she like when you change the subject from her??? Does she go back to the topic of herself???
Jess
Is she like this?
http://www.steptalk.org/node/13922
Sorry
Sorry I should have made my comment clearer...How does she react if you change the subject away from her??? Does she go back to herself??
I really believe StepAside , their behaviours become really gross...Sometimes these type of kids have to learn from hard knocks in life. I wish I could be more positive but my SD has only got worse over time...To the point to hating her or hearing her name
Yes
if I change the subject she will answer the question briefly maybe make a comment then go back to herself. She does the same w/ DH he thinks its normal. I don't know. I don't have kids of my own. I read sticks post Narcissism could be it. Her mother is Bi polar. And very selfish. I don't know why DH cant put it all together god she is just like her mother only not crazy yet. If I tell him anything he thinks I am picking on her maybe I am overly sensitive because she is not mine. I just don't want her to turn out like Stepasides (which I never thought about) her girls getting dumped all the time because they are so full of it. Yikes! Mine is average looking not really pretty she never really says that she is it is more about her activities and friends etc. But I get the underlying feeling that she just thinks she is all that and a bag of candy! URGH. How can I approach DH so he does not feel like I am picking on her? I really want this kid to turn out normal so she and we do not have drama in the future.
Oh I have another theory
I think people sometimes cant see their own kids for what they are. DH Badmouths his niece and nephew saying they are misbehaved and spoiled. When in theory they are not much different. He will even get onto his nephew and it pisses me off as I think wow your daughter is not any different and you would never get onto her like that. I have even said it to him before and he will make excuses like oh this is different because he is disrespectful to his mother and im like well there are many ways of disrespect. URGH! Sorry all just venting tonight.
Jess!
I feel your pain girl! I'm trying to straddle that line myself. I don't want it to come out like I'm picking on Sd, but I certainly do not want her to grow up like StepAsides' SD's either! And to be honest, StepAside's SD's sound just like BM over here. BM used to be really cute back in her day and is not a bad looking woman now. You know, we're all just in our 40's! But she still seems to meet guys. She can't keep them! And she doesn't connect it to her own behavior. It's sad! So I'm constantly trying to fight the messages from her to SD.
Tonight, SD was watching TV with DH and I and a woman was on a commercial. So SD says "She's top-heavy". And her dad was like, yes she is. But it could be her blouse because she's got shoulder pads. SD was like, well, her buttons are weird. She looks "big". I don't like it (meaning the way the woman looks - SD is smaller on top). Well, I've been getting thru to DH because he turned to her and said... Different looks please different people.
I feel exactly how you do. SD here is not as bad as she used to be. I'd say you look pretty today (because she looked cute!) and she'd reply Yeah! She acts like she KNOWS. But, I want her to have self-esteem too. It's a tough act to straddle. IF YOU FIGURE IT OUT... would you PLEASE let me know!!! I'm going crazy over here!!
Hell No that shhhhh aint normal!...
If you accept it. Then yeah its normal! With me I'm not accepting it my skids can play that game with their bm or their little friends. I'm sorry I'm from the ole school and your little azz ain't gonna be self centered cuz ill send you down to the homeless shelter! Your atttitude will change will quick! I often let my skids know it ain't about you, boo boo! Its up to us to set their expectations not the other way around.... Bump That!
No. It is not normal.
I have (had) two Sds. SD18 at 14 was totally into herself, not caring what havoc or pain she caused others. She is the same today. She thinks she is above all. She thinks she is all that and more. She believes the world should, and does, revolve around her, and around her every wish and command. There is no humility. None. She thinks she's the most gorgeous, sexiest, desirable creature on the planet. To both males and females. Tho she has 1 gf at the most, she has had sex with a girl.
Honestly, she treats others so badly that in the space of a year, 2 cars have been keyed, one shot up with BB's, over retaliation for her nasty actions towards others her age.
SD14 (now 14) is sweet. She's thoughtful. She's kind. SD14 tries so hard to keep everyone happy. All she ever wanted was a "real family". She is my true sorrow over the end of this marriage.
I raised two sons, also. Neither one of them displayed the "it's all about me" behaviour. Tho I don't hear from my oldest, he was still a sweet kid at 14. My youngest was the one who willingly gave up all the material goods he could have had (at the age of 12, btw) to live with his newly improvished mom, instead of his well to do dad.
No. This is not normal behaviour. It is narcissistic behaviour, and is totally out of line.
amen
Amen bewitched! They need to know that it is a very ugly characteristic just like being selfish! You can b e the most beautiful person but if you have that self centered selfish quality you are ugly as hell.....