Okay. DH's kid was here for the weekend. She spent one night with friends and last night with us (no big deal).

On the way to take her home we stopped for dinner. She (17) started talking about leads on jobs and how much she can't wait to graduate and get out of the house. She then started telling us:

1. Skid has a port wine mark on a part of her body. It's not obvious unless you're looking for it. She recently went to a dermatologist about it, as she noticed a mole had developed in the same spot. Doctor said the mole was fine and he could remove both if she wanted. However, removing the mole would leave a scar. Skid decided to wait it out and decide after summer, because neither of these really bother her and she feels they are just a part of her body. She told Uberskank her decision and Uberskank told the skid "Well.....you realize that some day you'll be with a man, who will find that unattractive and may not want to marry you because of it."

:jawdrop:

2. Apparently last week, her younger siblings (not DH's, they both have their own father, see previous blogs) were picking on her. Telling her they hated her, telling her they're glad she's nearly 18 and almost out of the house. That they can't wait until she moves out. She got upset with them and (as she put it) got back in their faces. Uberskank then told the skid that it probably would be for the best when she just leaves.

Again :jawdrop:

Without maligning Uberskank, both DH and I backed up her decision to wait on having the port wine mark and mole removed. Especially if she wasn't comfortable with the scaring. She said, Why didn't my mother say this to me? She made me feel ugly. Shouldn't she have told me that he'd love me for who I am (warts and all). Both DH and I agreed with her and simply said Uberskank was out of line to say these things to her.

Then she started telling us about her sisters, but when she got to the part where Uberskank was not only agreeing with them but joining in, I nearly lost it. It took everything I had not to grab DH's keys to the car, drive to her town and kick the crap out of Uberskank. Instead both DH and I said her sisters were just being bratty and Uberskank should have told them to knock it off and not join in on their taunts.

WTH is wrong with this woman?? After all that DH's kid has done to me, why am I (and DH) the one reassuring her?? This is HER daughter, not mine! Aren't I the one that should be doing the you're ugly dance and I can't wait until I don't have to see your face anymore? How could her own mother say these things to her?

And before anyone asks.....yes I believe her. Believe you me, I don't trust this kid as far as I can throw her. However, these stories were told in a resigned, matter of fact way with no drama, tears or requests for money. There was underlying teenage anger, but without her exaggerating the circumstances (her normal way of telling lies).

I hope DH and I handled this correctly.