Today I would like to play "whack a mole" with BM's head
Ok so here goes. BM and DH were on the phone arguing over the fact that BM wants to keep kids for Fathers Day. In her rant to DH BM decided to take a few shots at me. BM told DH that skids said I didnt feed them lunch on Friday (while I was watching them because BM was working). This of course is total B.S. Then the skids said the reason they didnt get to eat was because I was sleeping and they were afraid to wake me up. I am not an early morning eater. I made them their breakfast at 7am and then we watched a few cartoons together and read a few books and played. Around 11 am I asked the kids if they were hungry they said no. So I popped in a movie for them and we all snuggled on the couch. Well because of being tired and not feeling well I nodded off for about a little under an hour. This isnt something that I do at all I think I just couldnt take the exhaustion anymore. My skids are 7 & 9 and they know enough never to answer the phone or the door and that they are not allowed to use appliances without supervision. I keep the doors locked always and I really feel badly about nodding off but I hardly think I deserve such criticisim! BM then said that she was shocked because I am usually so responsible. I couldnt believe she even went there! DH told BM that I fed the kids but she didnt believe him. I think it is because BM believes everyone should eat lunch at 12 noon. I know she has been mad before because I dont cook lunch then. I am not a slave and I will cook when I want to! I so mad because I made the kids lunch at 1:40 and had them showered dressed and had their teeth brushed before she came at 2:40. So I dont see what her problem is. I often get annoyed because SS's will just walk up to me and say Im hungry make me lunch /dinner. WTH am I servant?? I am sorry if I sound callous but come on. These kids are getting so spoiled its like the think that just because they say they are hungry I should rush out and maked them food in an instant. Some days I think that skids should go live with BM then they would realize how good they have it here. BM couldnt even handle half the crap I put up with and those kids need to learn manners and patience. I would really like to send BM a message and tell her that if she has a problem with me then she should talk to me but I know she will cause trouble. I feel like I am being punched in the face and my hands are tied behind my back so I just have to take it. This is B.S. BM is so spineless she tells DH this crap because shes probally afraid of me. I wish I could just tell her off and have there be no reprocussions for DH or the skids but I know better...
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Sunflower
Put them on a set meal schedule when they are with you. Breakfast is at 7/8. Lunch is at 12/1 Dinner is at 5/6. I know you will not stick to the schedule to the letter, but it would eliminate the headache. So, they can not be hungry, but lunch was served. PERIOD. I would allow a little snack in between meals. When my skids were little I made them choose 2 snacks for the day outside of meals. One snack could be junkie like chips or cookies BUT the other snack had to be something healthy like fresh fruit or carrot sticks. THEY got to chose when they would eat said snack. So if they wanted their junkie snack at 11, FINE. If they wanted it at 3, FINE. They KNEW what the snacks were and it was THEIR choice (usually out of a couple of things). Cut out all of the pickiness and fussing.
I know what you are saying though. I am just offering a solution so that you can possibly avoid this in the future. Pretty much like with school if you think about it. The kids are on a schedule and get into a routine and they kinda go with the flow. Give them the structure and shut EVERYONE down and UP.
Anyone can take the easy way out and blame others. BUT it takes a a person of character to take a look at one's self and actions and own responsibility for their part. ~ ME ~ }:-P
I am usually on a schedule
I am usually on a schedule with skids everything else is ultra structured but of course I give the kids lunch later twice in a year and all hell breaks loose. I love my skids but they are lazy as can be. They both have snacks that they could have gotten out for themselves instead they want me to do everything for them.I disgusts me because my MIL and now BM are enablers. Skids get treated like babies! My MIL actually has them drinking out of "sippy cups"!! BM serves them dinner and cuts it up for them. I am trying desperately to teach skids how to become more self relaint and that gets washed away by BM and MIL.
I just got SS9 to tie his shoes a couple months ago and he is 9! That is a bit late in my eyes. No one took the time to teach these kids before. Now I come around and start and BM gets jealous and acts like I am stealing her thunder! If it werent for me SS6 would probally still be in pull ups half the time! It just makes me sick that BM acts like should "would have, could have" done the things that I have done with skids.My question is If that was the case BM why the hell havent you done this crap years ago!! I am sorry I am ranting. I will set a schedule for lunch but now the skids are gonna learn how to make their own. I am done.
It is better to be the hammer than the anvil.
Emily Dickinson
Sunflower
Having them make their own lunch is a good thing. I used to make lunches for my skids and put little love notes in their lunch boxes. They would open the box before they left for school and switch out some things and whine about others. I then said NO MORE. If they had the ability to do that, then they could make their own. I began having them make their own sandwiches at night. We prepared everything and I was the overseer/teacher. They LOVED it and ate this up surprisingly. They really liked learning how to make their own lunches. I aught them how to heat up their soup for their thermos too. From that moment on I was retired from the lunch making business.
Even would do pizza night for dinner and they would make their OWN personal pizza. Only thing I did was put them in and take them out the oven. They used the pizza cutter and everything. They have also learned how to make tacos at home. So, on taco night THEY make dinner. I don't really eat it, but they LOVE LOVE LOVE it. Kids like being independent...they just don't know it yet.
Anyone can take the easy way out and blame others. BUT it takes a a person of character to take a look at one's self and actions and own responsibility for their part. ~ ME ~ }:-P
Ooh ooh I wanna play too!!!!
That stupid BM piece of shite makes me wanna whack her too! My BM has the kids on weekends so naturally she wanted them this weekend too (they aren't even seeing her-they're at her parents). I reluctantly agreed because my little SS11 was missing his mama. You see they haven't seen her since the 7th because she was too lazy to get them last weekend plus she "had plans". Apparently having a naked gay/straight pool party was more important than seeing her kids! Anyway even though I agreed I am still mad. I feel so bad for DH. He only has one out of four kids for fathers day- I can say this will NEVER happen again! Biatch!!! She even posted a father/daughter pic of her hubby on her facebook. Bitch better at least have the kids call DH tomorrow or I'm gonna let her have it!
"A parents job is to eat as much sh*t as we have to so that the children do not."
Thats it I am gonna be rich
Thats it I am gonna be rich I will make a computer program or maybe something for wii that you can superimpose a photo of someone (in our case BM)onto a whack a mole head! It will be great stress relief for all step parents alike
I do hope that DH gets at least a call from the other three. It is so sad that some of these BM's are so vindictive! I keep calling Kansas trying to find Dorothy so she can drop a house on BM. If I find her I will put in an order for your BM as well 
As for your BM well Id give her a few whacks too! What the hell is wrong with her?? Taking the kids away on fathers day only to leave them with her parents? What a spiteful bitch! Wow naked pool parties (now thats not skanky or anything) :sick: Ooops threw up a little from that mental image.
It is better to be the hammer than the anvil.
Emily Dickinson